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Holiday cheer can be hard to come by. We're so busy preparing for the holidays that before we settle in to enjoy them they've passed us by.
Here are seven steps to finding and preserving your Holiday Cheer!
#1: Clarity as to preferences and expectations
If you are going to have others in your home over the holidays you need to be clear as to your preferences and expectations. Do people take off their shoes when they enter the house? Do people all eat together or graze throughout the day? Do people get up, have breakfast, and engage one another, or are they free to sleep the day away?
If you are able to release some of your preferences and expectations so that others are free to live out their preferences, so much the better.
#2: Sleep well
My mother attributed much of life's ills to lack of sleep and I'm firmly in her camp. When the busyness of the holidays keeps you from getting a good night's sleep then don't be surprised when you enter the following day with a deficit of energy and goodwill.
#3: Listen for people's values and to their hearts
People say things in ways that I wouldn't. I can worry about how they said something or try to consider what they were trying to express. I can choose to hear their values and listen to their hearts.
#4: Remember: You're not going to change people fundamentally
The holidays aren't that once a year opportunity to continue fixing others. People are who they are and they aren't going to change fundamentally - so quit trying to help in that process. Allow people to be themselves. That leads us to. . . .
#5: Celebrate the good in others rather than rehearsing the annoyances
People are annoying. Some more than others, but everyone does something that is less perfect than you would desire. You can rehearse people's failings or celebrate the good in them. The latter is more likely to enhance your holiday experience and will help to preserve your cheer. Every time you are tempted to complain about one of your visitors, stop and ask yourself what that person does well and focus on that attribute.
#6: Have one conversation at a time - not getting caught up in each conversation's history
The problem with holiday conversations is that they feel like a continuation of last year's conversation and a continuation of the year before that. Conversations at the holidays often come with history. Try to focus on the conversation in front of you without reading all of the past into this one discussion. Not every comment is a hidden dig built on the foundation of past slights. Sometimes we are just talking - start there and try to be present for today's conversation.
#7: Give yourself reasonable margin
Sometimes you just need to get away. You may volunteer to run to the store, find a bathroom where you can read, go for a walk, watch some TV, listen to music, take a nap - even the most extroverted need some margin during the holidays. Find yours and allow others to find theirs.
May you have a blessed Christmas with those you love!
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