A seminar participant told me an interesting story about her neighbor.  The neighbor has two sons - one who plays soccer and one who does not.  At the end of the season the soccer-playing son had won a trophy.  The mother went out and purchased a trophy for her non-soccer-playing son so that he wouldn't feel left out.  Besides, from her perspective, he had attended his brother's games and thereby participated in his brother's success.

Our children attended the Grand Nationals for Bands of America and at the end of the preliminary round, before the announcement of the semifinalists, each band received a participation trophy.

I actually understand that decision (and not simply because my children are participants in that activity).

The first is a mother worried that her child cannot watch a sibling succeed without having his own value diminished. The second is marketing.  An organization recognizes that bands have invested tens of thousands (in some cases well over a hundred thousand dollars) into an activity and it is best that they go back to their sponsoring community with something to show for their efforts.

Take any activity and people can be divided into three categories: Observers, Participants, and Achievers. We can't be achievers in every area of life, but hopefully each of us is an achiever in at least one.  For some activities observing and participating are reward enough.

We need to help our children see the value in each role and to understand that achievement can be relational, vocational, educational, recreational, and many other "ationals" not listed here.

Of course, we need to be on the lookout for achievers who may not receive the recognition they deserve (remembering that some do not want recognition and might be deterred in their efforts by it).

Remember to bless the achievers, recognize the need for participants (without which the achievements would be diminished) and appreciate the observers (without which the achievements would go unrecognized).

I'll let you decide which participants should be rewarded - in no case should there be trophies for observers. Perhaps that's just me.  Somehow I don't think so.