The director of our children's marching band has a framed poster on his wall - the same poster that hangs in my office.  It's entitled, "21 Suggestions for Success" by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

#1 on Brown's list: "Marry the right person.  This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery."

Marrying poorly is scary - truly scary.

Some children are attracted to others in need.  My faith affirms this serving attitude, while my parental instinct urges caution.

I've tried to communicate to our children that expressing the love of Jesus to others in need shouldn't extend to marrying someone dysfunctional (and, no, not everyone is dysfunctional).

Judy and I have known several women (I'm sure this happens with men as well) who have married guys who were not motivated to provide for their families or to do much of anything.  These women often keep their marriages together, raise well-adjusted children, and live successful professional lives, but they pay a steep price.

I once had a college student who told me her goal was to marry four different men over the course of her life so that she could experience a wide range of relationships.  I urged her to let husband #1 know about this plan before they married.

Life is difficult.  We don't need to compound the difficulties by marrying the wrong person.

I find Brown's suggestions to be well-expressed and affirming of my core values.  I wholeheartedly agree that the decisions my children make in their marriage partners will significantly influence every area of life and I urge them to choose well.

Of course, this means each of my children needs to be the kind of person an emotionally healthy individual would seek to marry.