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Having a family gathering to attend this summer? Here's 13 suggestions for making it more enjoyable.
- Limit alcohol - for two reasons: a) While it has differing effects on people, alcohol often reduces people's self-censorship and things are said that they later regret and others can't forget, and b) You are modeling behavior for the younger members of your family who may associate drinking with socializing and until they mature they may find it difficult to drink in moderation.
- Get enough sleep - tiredness and grumpiness often are linked and time spent with extended family is not the time to be grumpy. If you are enjoying a conversation, continue it the next day after you are rested rather than persisting far into the night and then being unable to interact civilly the next day.
- Go on walks and talk - be active together doing things that allow interpersonal communication and relational development.
- Don't spend all you have on the destination - make sure you leave financial room for activities that people will enjoy and remember.
- Don't require everyone to participate in every activity - let people join in and opt out as they want; remember that some people are introverted and need to renew their strength differently than their extroverted cousins.
- Eat your meals together and plan a celebratory bonfire one evening where you can share highlights of the preceding year and opportunities for family members to encourage each other in the coming year.
- Realize there may be triggers from the past that lead to moments of high emotion - be prepared to leave some issues unresolved and some conversations unfinished.
- Leave people wanting more - 4 days is better than 7 if everyone leaves having had a good time and looking forward to the next get-together.
- Remember that in most areas of life the perfect is the enemy of the good - don't postpone gathering until everyone can attend; better some gather than no one while you work to have everyone attend.
- Play games that allow for conversation and laughter - Five Crowns and The Resistance are recent favorites of our family.
- Pray together - spiritual bonding is deep and allows you to bless others in ways they will cherish.
- Keep the larger goal of family bonding in mind (remember why you're there) - celebrate rather than seeking to resolve past issues.
- Ask questions of others - real questions that express interest and allow others to share their lives, rather than statements or judgments disguised as questions.
I'd love to hear your suggestions as well! |
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Thanks for reading and thanks for your comments!
You can understand each other - really!
Dr. Stephen Julian
Copyright © 2013 by Dr. Stephen Julian. All rights reserved. |
