Strong Leadership:
It's a blessing and a curse
My children love the television show Monk. Monk is a obsessive-compulsive detective who sees his unusual powers of observation as both a blessing and a curse.
Many leaders with whom I work have strong personalities. Those personalities have enabled them to influence others and are one reason they naturally gravitate toward leadership roles. But many of them find this strength of personality to be both a blessing and a curse.
This is not to say that those with less move-to-the-front personalities cannot be effective leaders. It is to say that they face different challenges.
Recently I met with two leaders who share responsibilities in guiding a team. One is more direct and forceful and the other is more indirect and reflective. The less direct leader pointed out that during recent team meetings she had taken a back seat and allowed her colleague to lead the discussions even when those discussions focused on her areas of leadership.
As they discussed this situation they came to the conclusion that both were to blame. The strong leader finds it easy to fill the void when the indirect leader hesitates and doesn't step forward. The indirect leader knows that the two of them have discussed the situation and are in agreement about what should be done, and her more outspoken colleague is doing a fine job presenting their viewpoint to the team.
Two problems that emerge in this situation:
- The strong leader is perceived by team members as running roughshod over her more introverted partner.
- The more introverted leader is failing to be identified with her areas of responsibility, potentially begging the question: Why is she needed in this role?
Like Monk, the strong leader's tendency to speak up and to direct is both a blessing and a curse.
Three realities strong leaders must face:
- While both leaders share responsibility for how things played out in front of the team, it is the strong leader who typically is singled out for blame. People see her as bullying her fellow leader when in reality both have contributed to this situation. The best solution is for the quieter leader to tell the team what has happened, to assure team members that the leaders are on the same page, and that they will continue working to share leadership appropriately and effectively.
- People often feel the need to protect others from strong leaders even when those leaders are mature, emotionally aware, and empathetic. They are simply more direct and, particularly when there is significant history, some of which occurred before the strong leader had matured, that directness is interpreted as inappropriate when it may be expressed in an entirely appropriate fashion. The world is not fair and so strong leaders must be prepared to be misinterpreted.
- Strong leaders, if honest, often do believe that they can say and do things better than others. But if they are wise they know both that they cannot replace all the people around them (that is, even if it were entirely true that they could do it better they could not do it all), and that the people around them bring other, genuine, valuable strengths. Others may not be as efficient or productive, but may have people skills, creative insights, willingness to persist in detailed work that requires attention to precision, and additional strengths the team needs.
Four strategies strong leaders should adopt to maximize their effectiveness:
- Remember when they are tempted to think they can do it all better and faster that there are many senses in which this simply is and cannot be true.
- Make sure they are selective in the expression of their strength of personality. Become better listeners and allow others to lead differently but in ways that influence the team for good.
- Don't learn the wrong lesson. Don't bury your strength in order to avoid being misinterpreted by others. You must risk others not understanding if you are to fully express your strengths.
- Realize that how results are achieved matters. Allow other leaders to direct their areas of responsibility even when they are slower to speak, less forceful in expression, and bring about less dramatic results. Teamwork is about results achieved by a group that could not be achieved by an individual.
Five questions for you to consider:
- Are you a strong leader?
- Are you maturing in the expression of that strength?
- Are you fully persuaded that you need your colleagues and team members?
- Are you willing to be misinterpreted in the expression of your strength?
- Are you ready to work with an executive coach who holds you accountable to the effective expression of your strength?
At Julian Consulting we're here to help you exercise your strengths effectively in the development of a healthy team! Call TODAY to determine how we can serve you in this process.
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