John Gately presents a check for $3,000 to Ryan McLane, Veterans' Agent in Melrose, proceeds from the Gately Third Annual AbFab Fundraiser.

 

2014 AbFab Fundraiser for Our Melrose Veterans!

More than 125 local residents attended the event to

John Gately with one of many gift bags raffled off to benefit Melrose Veterans.

help support Melrose Veterans, as John Gately and his son John Gately, Jr. stationed themselves behind the bar to mix and serve drinks. Owners of Absolutely Fabulous, Lori Muse and her partner Lena Giordano provided plentiful hors d'oeuvres throughout the evening. All tips and the proceeds from the sale of the special drink for the evening, the Sangria Salute, were donated to the Melrose Veterans Fund.

John Gately presented a check to Ryan McLane, Veterans' Agent in Melrose, along with his thanks for all the fine work the Veterans' Service Office does for the veterans' of Melrose.

Gently-Used Coats Provide
Warmth this Winter -
5th Annual Coat Collection Now
Through January.  Help Us to
Help Our Neighbors in Need.

Once again, our collection bin at 79 West Foster Street in Melrose is ready to receive coats and jackets donated by members of the community.  

"We are proud to do our part to help our neighbors in need by collecting coats for both adults and children," said John Gately, funeral director and owner of Gately Funeral Home. "Last year we collected more than 300 coats for men, women, and children, which were distributed among local shelters in the area. We set our goal even higher this year!"

John urges all to take a good look through the closets and donate those coats and jackets that are no longer worn or wanted. The outer wear donated will be welcomed and appreciated by those less fortunate.

Those wishing to donate are asked to bring clean, gently-used coats and jackets to the Gately Funeral Home lobby. John Gately said, "Each year we are amazed by the generosity of those in Melrose and surrounding towns who help us to make our Coat Collection a success. People tell me they feel wonderful that they can help others in need while cleaning out their closets of no longer wanted coats."

The coat collection will continue through the end of January 2015.  

Frequently Asked Questions

"What advice do you have for how to behave and speak regarding holiday preparations to those who have recently suffered a loss?"

Anticipating the holidays after a recent death can be overwhelming, lonely and wrenching.  To help those who are grieving, ask what they would like to do during the holidays.  

Take the pressure off by not voicing your own expectations.  Realize that it's very likely they will want to do things differently this year - and that's fine.   It doesn't mean old traditions are forever gone. Take one event or holiday at a time.

Listen to their concerns and thoughts and then respond with some suggestions that give your loved one flexibility and control.  

Here are some ideas:

1)    Talk with your loved one who has suffered a loss about what parts of holiday preparation and participation will be overwhelming and what may be therapeutic or enjoyable.

2)    Delegate responsibility for holiday tasks and lower expectations. Fewer holiday preparations and/or gatherings may be what are desired. Keep it simple.

3)    Honor the deceased in some way, perhaps by mentioning him or her at the holiday meal or gathering.

4)    Share a memory during holiday preparations and gatherings.

5)    Make a donation or volunteer time in honor of the one who died.

6)    Let your loved one know that crying is OK. Expect tears and have tissues handy.

7)    Let your loved one know that joining in the festivities or not is also OK.

8)    Suggest that your loved one attend for part of the time, if the whole day or event seems overwhelming.

9)    Try to be patient and understanding, keeping the spirit of the occasion and the needs of the family as the focus.

10)  Communicate to family members how the holiday is being planned and what changes they can expect.

Many have said that anticipating the upcoming holiday is much more difficult than the day itself. Having children around can be very healing and hopeful as they help everyone to live in the moment.  Asking and listening to your grieving loved one and honoring the one who is gone is a thoughtful and helpful gift you can give.  

Using Good Memories to Help Heal Your Grief

Living with Loss while Others are Celebrating

Getting through the Holidays When You've Lost a Loved One

Ten Ways to honor a Deceased Love One at Christmas

When You Can't All Be Together for the Holidays

Feeling Depressed at Christmastime

Grieving at Christmas: A Family Guide

Remember that there is no right or wrong way to experience grief; nor is there a time limit for our feelings. We all experience loss differently. We hope that the suggestions listed above will help you get through this time of year and to choose the strategies that are right for you.