When Christmas carols, family gatherings, and other holiday traditions bring a deceased loved one to mind, they can sometimes bring a painful emotion with it. An excellent way to cope with grief during the holidays is to do something special to honor your loved ones memory.
Remembering is good and at this special time of year we can honor our loved one who has died by making the lives of others somehow better, fuller, and more meaningful in his or her name. Whether the death was recent or occurred many years ago, here are some ideas for you to honor your loved one's memory:
1) Give a gift to a special cause in the name of your loved one. Contribute to an organization that was especially important to your dad.
2) Make simple holiday ornaments that symbolically represent your loved one and give them to family and friends. In honor of your dad you can give of yourself creatively and personally.
3) Hang a holiday welcome wreath. The circle is a strong symbol of life. Hang a wreath in honor of your father and let it be the first gesture of welcome, warmth, and hospitality that you offer to family and friends.
4) Lay a place setting for your loved one at your main holiday meal. The place setting can have a soothing effect on the family as it acknowledges the spirit of your dad still in your midst.
5) Honor your loved one in your faith community by lighting a candle or contributing to the holiday floral arrangements that adorn the worship area.
6) Share an inspiring story about your loved one. Inspire others to be strong, faithful, and courageous by telling stories about your dad's acts of strength, fidelity, and courage.
7) Send thank you notes to those who were special to your loved one. Thank them for bringing the gift of friendship and love into the world through their relationship with your father.
8) Give a gift of an item that belonged to your loved one. The monetary value of the item is unimportant. Rather, the giving of something that was important to your dad will have a lasting impact on the recipient.
9) Make a new year's resolution that will honor your loved one throughout the coming year. Give blood when you can; mentor a child; volunteer your time and skills to a community or global organization to improve the quality of life for others. Author Judy Tatelbaum says in The Courage to Grieve, "Our greatest tribute might be in how we live our lives after a loss."
10) Share your honoring activity with others. Let your family and friends know how you are honoring your loved one. Don't deny others the joy of seeing how their loved one's goodness lives on in the service of others. If you are making a donation, perhaps others would like to do the same in honor of your loved one.
Honoring those who have died during the Holidays helps us to keep them and what we loved about them always in our hearts, and to see and touch the power of life beyond death.
If you would like information on getting through the holidays when you've lost a loved one, please call Gately Funeral Home at 781-665-1949. We have an assortment of CareNotes that are very helpful to those who are living with loss.
Source: CareNotes: Ten Ways to Honor a Deceased Loved One at Christmas, by
Kass Dotterweich, Abbey Press 2005.
