Holiday time can be a difficult time for families with special needs loved ones. There is change in routine, lots of down time, travel, visits with family and friends, attending functions, too much noise, and too much food, etc. Being a mother of a child with significant special needs, I have developed some coping mechanisms that have helped my family survive and enjoy the holiday season.

Here are some tips that have helped me:

It is tempting to do a lot of visiting and attend many gatherings. However, this may be too much for your special needs loved one. I feel that it is better to have one successful experience rather than many stressful and difficult ones. Additionally, if my son needs to be on his best behavior for an activity, I make sure he has plenty of non-stressful time before and after an event to just be himself. 

If your loved one is picky eater and there is a risk of tantrums, difficult behavior, and stress if his or her preferred food is not at a gathering, bring your own supply of preferred food. Further, if there are certain items that will help calm your loved one, make certain you bring them to all gatherings. For example, an iPad, books he or she enjoys, weighted vest, etc.

My family and friends always worry so much when it comes to buying gifts for my son with special needs. In order to alleviate this worry, I always buy my son's gifts prior and give them to my family members to wrap and give to him. This takes the stress off my family members that want to buy my son a gift and also ensures my son will not act out if he opens something he does not like or understand.

Although it is hard, I try to build as much routine as possible over the holidays. For example, I keep a consistent bedtime and wake up time even over breaks. In addition, I try to keep similar limits that I set during school. For example, in our home "screen time" remains limited, reading routines stay in place, and meals remain around the same time.