Caring for an older loved one can be a challenge, even more so if the family member is resistant to care. In dealing with this type of situation, it is important to understand the source of the resistance and how to encourage cooperation.
A family member who resists care, whether it is direct help by a loved one or professional care, is likely experiencing unhappiness due to loss of independence. Needing to be cared for involves a disruption of routine and loss of privacy, which can be disconcerting. An older family member may be feeling frightened of aging or feel guilty about being a burden on other family members. All of these factors can combine to cause a response that is understandable even if it is not very rational: resisting needed care.
An important part of dealing with resistance to care is knowing when and how to have the necessary conversations with your loved one. You should bring the subject up at a relaxed time when you will be able to take time to listen to each other. Be sure to ask questions about your family member's needs and preferences. Even someone with Alzheimer's or other dementia can express preferences. If your loved one is resistant to even talking about the care situation, try letting the matter rest for a while and bringing it up again later....
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