Treatment and Support for Families Affected by Alzheimer's and other Memory Disorders |
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Sept-Oct 2015
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Vol 6, Issue 5
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News
A newsletter for caregivers of loved ones with memory loss
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"It's Alzheimer's....Now What?"
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 My 75-year-old father was just diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimer's Disease. He and my mother live in another state and have no family nearby. The doctor who diagnosed the disease suggested to my mother that she find a memory clinic, but the closest one is at a university five hours away. She realizes that they need help but has no idea what to do. Where should she begin, and what can my sister and I do to help?
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Many of us are facing similar situations as our parents reach their eighties and nineties. They want to continue to live their same independent lifestyle, yet can no longer do so due to health or physical decline. It's especially difficult with a memory/cognitive disease like Alzheimer's. Because it affects personality, judgment, and communication, the person is usually not able to fully participate in family discussions the way he once could. Sometimes, family members disagree about how far Dad has progressed or what he needs, and due to the nature of dementia, Dad often can't comprehend or understand the far-reaching effects of his diagnosis. Nobody wants to think about, let alone talk about, how their future lifestyle will need to change. It's a frustrating and challenging situation for everyone.
Add to that the general lack of specialized medical resources available to families dealing with dementia, and it's no wonder your mother doesn't know what to do. You and your sister are concerned for both parents, but you are on a slippery slope, wanting to step in and help without appearing to interfere.
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You must realize, even if your parents don't yet, that they may not be able to live independently as Dad's disease progresses. Eventually, he will likely require more hands-on assistance than your mother will be able to provide. And at the same time as you are monitoring his condition, you will also need to be cognizant of how caring for him is affecting your mother's health...and realize that she likely will be unaware of, even resistant to, the idea that there may come a time that she cannot continue.
However, there are strategies that can keep them at home longer. If the university's memory clinic is not an option, then the next best thing is to find a geriatrician or neurologist in the area who can do an in-depth diagnosis and provide ongoing assessment of Dad's abilities. Because he or she has experience with dementia, they will know and manage the appropriate medical protocols to use and avoid, and will be able to refer you to other local resources, including a geriatric care manager.
Now called "aging life care experts," geriatric care managers can be an invaluable resource for your family. They can assess the home environment, and can recommend and arrange for the best services, agencies, and programs in your area. They can serve as your mother's right-hand person, her go-to expert in times of emergency or simply everyday needs - and for you, they can serve as your eyes and ears to keep you informed of what's going on beyond Mom's daily insistence of "Oh, we're doing just fine!" After the initial consultation, most are willing to tailor their schedule to as much or as little as needed. Having a geriatric care manager in place will provide a local person who knows your parents and their situation and can step in to manage during a crisis until you can arrive. Most will have experience working with families living with dementia, but you should try to find one who specializes in it if possible. The geriatric practice will be able to recommend one or more, or you can go to www.aginglifecare.org, and click on "find an aging life care expert."
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Another good resource for your parents is a home care service. Although it may yet be early to implement it, you should go ahead and start becoming familiar with the local agencies. Mom or Dad may protest having "a stranger in our house," but at some point, as Dad is able to do less and Mom has to take on more, it will become not only a good idea but a necessity. Like geriatric care managers, home health agencies can offer a variety of services ranging from companionship to assistance with bathing and medications. This is one of the services the geriatric care manager can help to arrange.
Your immediate concerns for your parents at this point include:
Safety - Is Dad still driving? Operating a lawn mower or power tools? Falling? Is there a gun in the home? Who is handling their financial and business affairs? Are smoke detectors in place? These are serious safety issues and as difficult as it may be to face, his capacity to continue using or managing them will be affected as the disease progresses. This can be addressed by the physician who is overseeing Dad's condition, but you should be aware that changes to his routine will eventually need to be made to reduce the risk of accidents.
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Legal Documents - including Power of Attorney and Healthcare Power of Attorney. Even if they are already in place, they may need updating or revising so that Dad isn't named as someone who will have legal or financial responsibilities for someone else. You have a narrow window to get this done, so probably best to get started on it quickly. Expect a little pushback from your parents, so be gentle but firm. An eldercare attorney is usually the best option.
Medications - Who's in charge of keeping up with taking them? Dad won't be able to manage this for long, so if Mom isn't already familiar with what he takes and when, she will need to get involved. It's crucial that there be ongoing daily supervision of everything he takes, even over-the-counter products. This can also be a good job for home health aides.
Perhaps the very best resource you can suggest for your mother is a local support group. These meetings provide invaluable information about local services, education about the disease, and real, hands-on solutions for the variety of challenges that your mother is or will be facing. The geriatric care manager or geriatrician should be able to refer you to one, or you may even locate one online. Attending a support group in your area would also be an excellent way for you and your sister to learn what to watch for and how best to help your parents.
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"5 Steps for Caregivers After an Alzheimer's Diagnosis"
"What's the Difference Between Alzheimer's and Dementia?'
August 2014, Alzheimer's Reading Room
"Age-Related Memory Loss - What's Normal, What's Not"
August 2015, Helpguide.org
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ONGOING
PROGRAMS
Open to the Public
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MEMORYCAREGIVERS NETWORK
SUPPORT & EDUCATION GROUPS
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FLETCHER GROUP
First Tuesdays, 1:00-3:00 p.m.
Fletcher 7th Day Adventist Church
Howard Gap Road and Naples Road, Fletcher, N.C.
(just past Park Ridge Hospital)
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NEW HOPE GROUP
Third Tuesdays, 1:00-3:00 p.m.
New Hope Presbyterian Church
3070 Sweeten Creek Road, Asheville, N.C. 28803
(across from Givens Estates)
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WEAVERVILLE GROUP
Fourth Tuesdays, 1:00-3:00 p.m.
Weaverville First Baptist Church
63 N. Main, Weaverville, NC 28787
(North Buncombe County)
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There is no charge to attend any of the Network groups, but we rely on charitable support
to keep the program going.
To make a donation, contact Chad Conaty, Director of Development and Outreach,
at conaty@memorycare.org,
For more information about the MemoryCaregivers Network, contact:
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Mary Donnelly
828.230.4143
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Pat Hilgendorf
828.645.9189
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"CAREGIVER COLLEGE"
MemoryCare's ongoing educational series for caregivers
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A series of 6 two-hour lectures will be provided for caregivers of persons with memory disorders. Sessions are designed to improve caregiver understanding of different aspects of dementia care. Related presentation materials will be provided.
Space is limited so please sign up via our office in advance.
There is no fee for caregivers enrolled in MemoryCare.
For all others, there is an $85.00 attendance fee for the course.
To register, call 828.771.2219
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Course Content:
What Is Dementia?
Transitioning from Independence to Interdependence
Functional and Behavioral Changes of Dementia
Dementia Treatment Options & Risk Reduction
Maintaining Your Own Health
Dementia and Legal Planning Issues
The next series is about to start!
Every Tuesday, beginning October 13 through November 17
3:15 to 5:30 pm
South College - Room 104
140 Sweeten Creek Road, Asheville
Led by Margaret Noel, MD
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SCROLL DOWN
for MORE COMMUNITY EVENTS!
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Caregiver Network News is made possible by the charitable support of donors.
It is an auxiliary program of
Our Mission is three-fold:
To provide specialized medical care to older adults with cognitive impairment;
to support caregivers with education, counseling,and improved access to services; and to provide community education.
MemoryCare relies on charitable donations for operations.
Please consider MemoryCare in your estate planning.
Click this link to visit our website:
www.MemoryCare.org
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Do you need a program for a group event?
Public education is not only a part of the President's National Plan to Address Alzheimer's Disease, it's a part of MemoryCare's mission statement.
The MemoryCaregivers Network staff can provide speakers on a variety of subjects, including Recognizing Early Warning Signs of Memory Loss, Facts and Fiction about Dementia, Better Communication Techniques, and more.
or Chad Conaty, Director of Development & Outreach, at conaty@memorycare.org
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OTHER COMMUNITY PROGRAMS & EVENTS
(The following programs are not part of MemoryCare but help our community by serving those impacted by memory impairment.)
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"Project We Care" Benefit Concert
Proceeds go to
MemoryCare and Henderson County Council on Aging
Reserve your seats today!
CLICK HERE to purchase tickets
For more information about
"Project We Care of Henderson County"
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Memory Loss Caregivers of East Buncombe
An education & support group for caregivers
sponsored by the
Highland Farms Residents' Corporation
Meets every second Tuesday
9:30-11:30 a.m.
Free and Open to the Public
Lounge Room 3 (lower level), J-K entrance of Brookside Building
Highland Farms Retirement Community, Black Mountain, NC
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For more information, contact:
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Mary Donnelly
828.230.4143
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Pat Hilgendorf
828.645.9189
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Henderson County Caregiver Support Group
Two meetings every third Tuesday
1:00 p.m. AND 3:30 p.m.
First United Methodist Church
204 6th Ave W, Hendersonville, NC 28739
For more information, contact Lisa Kauffman at 828.696.9799
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Support Groups for Persons Living With Memory Loss
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The New Hope Group
1:00-2:30 p.m. on the third Tuesday of each month
(meets concurrently with the MemoryCaregivers Network New Hope Group above)
Pre-Screening Required, contact Cannan Hyde, 828.357.8307 or cannanhyde@att.net
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The Biltmore Group
1:00-2:30 p.m. on the second Thursday of each month
Biltmore Methodist Church
376 Hendersonville Road Asheville, 28803 (Exit 50 off I-40)
Pre-Screening Required, contact Cannan Hyde, 828.357.8307 or cannanhyde@att.net
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The Highland Farms Group
9:30-11:30 a.m. on the second Tuesday of each month
(meets concurrently with the Memory Loss Caregivers of East Buncombe above)
Contact Mel Kelley, 828.301.0529 or avant_garden@msn.com
The Hendersonville Group
1:30-3:30 on the second and fourth Tuesdays of each month
Mud Creek Baptist Church
Contact Patty Williams at 828.692.1262 or patty@mudcreekchurch.org
Initial screening required for all early-stage groups.
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Memory Cafes
A Social Gathering For Those with Memory Loss and their Friends & Families
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First Baptist Church, Asheville
Third Thursdays 1-3pm
5 Oak Street, Asheville, 28801
Calvary Episcopal Church, Fletcher
Third Saturdays 2-4pm
2940 Hendersonville Road, Fletcher 28732
Sylva First Baptist Church Fellowship Center
(collaboration with First Methodist, First Presbyterian, & St. John's Episcopal)
Second Thursdays 10am-12pm
669 W. Main St, Sylva, 28779
828-452-2500 meltonann@att.net
Hendersonville First Baptist Church
Second Mondays, 1-3pm
Crosswalk Building, 577 Buncombe St, Hendersonville 28739
828-388-1421 vaelwell@yahoo.com
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Come for Fun, Relaxation, and Socializing in a Café-like Setting!
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Caregiver Network News is written and edited by Mary Donnelly.
Contact network@memorycare.org for more information.
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to access our archives and read previous issues.
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