One of the most difficult things for caregivers to do is to change the way they talk with their memory-impaired loved ones.  "Family members simply cannot recognize how severe the memory loss is," says Dr. Beverly Jones, a Winston-Salem geriatric psychiatrist. "They see the same person on the outside and just can't comprehend how different they are on the inside." 

The following list of Communication Tips came directly from individuals with early memory loss.  Keep these in mind the next time you're trying to talk to your loved one:

Speak with a smile, so I know that you care.  A smile takes away tension and helps put me at ease.

If you are tense, remember, I feel your tension too.

Use language I understand - keep it simple, no jargon or slang.  Rephrase information if I'm having trouble understanding.

S-l-o-w down your speech.  I need more time than I used to in order to process what you are saying. 

Keep it short and to the point, one idea at a time. 

Be clear and concise.  Less is better.  I get confused with too much information.

Let me take the time to think through what you said to me.  Remember it takes me extra time to think through the meaning of words.

Let me set the pace of the conversation.  Don't be afraid of a few seconds of silence.

Let me be the leader in the conversation - give me charge of the conversation.  Sometimes there are things I want to talk about but I don't know how to say them.

Make sure you have my attention.  It takes me a while to focus.
Ask me if I can hear you.  Face me when you talk, eye contact helps to get my complete attention.

Give me time... time...time to find the words and to say my thoughts.

Let me finish what I am trying to say, it takes a little longer and sometimes it takes a lot longer.

Take the time to help me get my thoughts out.  Ask me short, simple questions to help find the words.  Words are often confusing.  Sometimes pointing or showing me what you mean can help.

Please repeat information if I ask.

Make sure I hear you, ask if I understand what you have said.

Tone of voice - adjust it up or down.  Louder is NOT always better!

Please, don't interrupt me.

Please be patient!  Don't ever give up on me!  I really DO want to be a part of the conversation.

(adapted from Alzheimer's Reading Room)

To read more about living day-to-day with a memory-impaired individual, click on the following link to an article from the Winston-Salem Journal:

 http://www2.journalnow.com/news/2010/dec/30/wsmet06-advice-to-caregivers-reassure-and-dont-arg-ar-653602/

"Our value lies in what we are, not in our ability to recite the recent past."

- a man living with Alzheimer's Disease

"I want to go to lunch with friends, complain about the local sports teams and talk about the same stuff they do."

 - Los Angeles 2007 Early Stage Forum

"I want to be treated...just like normal.  Alzheimer's isn't my whole life.  I want to be included. I am more than memory or a diagnosis."

- Tommy Thompson, member of NC Red Clay Ramblers

The test has 3 parts:  In the first part, you'll be shown 12 photos.  In the second part, you'll be shown another 12 photos.  And in the third part, you'll be shown 48 photos, and asked if you saw them in the first part, the second part, or not at all.  When you have finished, your results will be given to you.

Allow about 15 minutes.  Hint:  you'll do better if you've had enough sleep!

Click HERE to begin.

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