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Treatment and Support for Families Affected by Alzheimer's and other Memory Disorders |
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August 2010 | Vol 1, Issue 3 |
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Forget-Me-Nots | Forget-me-nots
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Caregiver
Network
News
A monthly newsletter for caregivers of loved ones with memory loss
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WELCOME to our NEW ARRIVAL! | |
MemoryCare's new Online Caregiver Blog/Forum is here!
This new online support service is a great opportunity to post your comments and questions, and to exchange ideas, tips, and concerns. Anyone is welcome to attend. It's especially useful for folks who can't get to a regular support group meeting, since the site can be accessed 24/7. Most inquiries should receive a response within 24-48 hours. It's like having a support group right in your home!
Logging on is easy. Just click on (or copy and paste into your browser) the following name:
http://caregivers.memorycare.org/forum/
You will start on the Forum page, and will be instructed to open a new account, for which you'll need to come up with a user name and a password. We suggest that you NOT use your own name. This will allow you to access the site at any time, and yet maintain your privacy. Then click on General Discussion, and either choose an existing topic or start a new one.
The Chat page requires another login name and password. This page will provide the opportunity for live, "real-time" conversation with members of the MemoryCare staff. These will be offered at specific times, so watch for notices of scheduled Chats on the Forum page as well as in future issues of Caregiver Network News.
If you should have any questions or problems with using MemoryCare's new online forum, please contact Mary Donnelly, network@memorycare.org. We look forward to "seeing" you online!
* * * * * * * * * * * * For more online information about MemoryCare's caregiver programs, including links to other resources, visit our website at
www.memorycare.org.
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Loss
One minute
he is my
gentle giant
with a mind
of four,
an intelligent adult
the next.
I become angry
with the innocent child
until I remember
I am dealing
with Dementia.
The agony
of our loss
creates hollows
deep within
Weeping Willow
whose branches shed
the tears
of my soul.
- Judith Z.
MemoryCaregiver
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GIVE IT A TRY! - Creative Ideas from our Caregivers | |
When loved ones can no longer be left alone, families must often arrange for outside help. Last month, we touted the benefits of adult day programs for persons with memory loss. Or you might want to consider hiring a part-time sitter to come to the person's home, either an individual or someone from an agency. However, convincing a reluctant family member either to accept a stranger into their home or to attend an adult day program can be a challenge.
Sometimes it simply comes down to how you present it. Here are some suggestions that have worked for our caregivers:
*Announce that you're going to volunteer at a senior center, and invite your loved one to come along. The husband of one of our Network caregivers has been "volunteering" at a local adult day program for over three months and enjoys his new "job."
* Invite your loved one to go to lunch with you at a "new club for seniors." Go again in a week and stay for "the program."
* Find out what programs or activities might be of particular interest to your loved one, and invite him to go with you to "the movies" or "the concert." One caregiver told her husband they were going to the "craft workshop." Another husband took his wife to "the dance."
*Try the Buddy System - if someone you know is already attending a day program, get her to invite your family member to go along.
*Introduce the idea of a sitter by asking a neighbor or friend to do it the first couple of times under the guise of "having lunch" or "going for a drive."Then have the sitter join them once or twice. The friend who began it all can bow out whenever he or she feels that the person has become comfortable with the sitter.
*Rather than telling your loved one that you've hired a "sitter" to stay with them, say that you have a new housekeeper, or you've hired someone to help you with a business or home project. Be offhand, don't over-explain.
*Be sure a new sitter has something to do when she gets there, even if it's just busywork, i.e., cleaning the silver, reorganizing the office. Your loved one will likely be uncomfortable with someone just hanging around. Ask the sitter to keep an eye out, but to do it as unobtrusively as possible. Try to make it appear as if she has another reason for being there. * Introduce new routines in small increments. Try half-day visits, once or twice a week, and gradually increase them as your loved one becomes more comfortable. Remember that new experiences and surroundings are frightening, so allow time for them to become familiar.
* Don't tell your family member ahead of time where you're going, or who's coming over. They will likely be anxious about doing something unfamiliar, and will ask you about it over and over. It's usually best to wait until the day of the visit to present the idea.
* Be careful of the words you use. Avoid saying "daycare," "respite," or "sitter." Try the suggestions listed above. Invite your loved one to participate rather than insisting.
* If the person doesn't respond well the first visit, wait a while and try again, possibly at a different center or with a different sitter. One of the hallmarks of dementia is that it is progressive, so what works (or doesn't) today might very well change in a matter of weeks.
* Allow your loved one the benefit of the doubt. Don't automatically assume they won't go, or won't like it. As one caregiver put it, "Don't be a Hold-Us-Back-nik!"
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REMINDER! | |
"Caregiver College"
MemoryCare's 6-part education program
A series of 6 two-hour lectures offered twice monthly beginning every quarter. Designed to improve understanding of the different aspects of dementia care. Classes meet at MemoryCare from 4:00-6:00pm. The next series begins on September 28, 2010.
Space is limited. Please contact MemoryCare to enroll: 828.771.2219 or office@memorycare.org.
"An educated caregiver is a better caregiver."
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CAREGIVER CALENDAR |
 MEMORYCAREGIVERS NETWORK
SUPPORT GROUPS
free & open to the public
FIRST TUESDAY GROUP
12:30-2:00 p.m.
Calvary Episcopal Church (in the library), Fletcher, N.C.
Hendersonville Road across from Fletcher Ingles
THIRD TUESDAY GROUP
12:30-2:00 p.m
New Hope Presbyterian Church (lower level)
3070 Sweeten Creek Road, Asheville, N.C.
(across from Givens Estates)
"MEMORYCARE CLUB"
Not for caregivers, this is a support group for people with early memory loss.
(Initial screening required. Please call for information)
Meets concurrently with the Third Tuesday Group
For more information about any of these, contact:
Mary Donnelly Pat Hilgendorf
828.230.4143 828.645.9189
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QUESTIONS ABOUT MEMORY LOSS?
Informational meeting to learn about Alzheimer's disease and related causes of memory loss, and community resources for families affected. Light refreshments served. Sponsored by Alzheimer's Assn, Land-of-Sky Regional Council, and Pardee Pavilion.
Monday, August 16, 2010, 10:00-Noon
Pardee Pavilion, 114 College Drive, Flat Rock, NC
Call 828.697.7070 to register.
CarePartners Art Show & Auction
Friday, September 24, 4:00-7:00pm
Art, refreshments, & live entertainment.
828.277.3399 ___________________________________________________________________________________
Save the Date!
"The Music of John Denver" performed by Tom Donnelly & Friends
Diana Wortham Theater, downtown Asheville
October 17, 2010, 4:00 pm
A benefit for MemoryCare
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NOTABLE QUOTABLES | |
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
- Maya Angelou |
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MemoryCare relies on charitable donations for operations. Please consider MemoryCare in your estate planning.
To visit our website, click on
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MemoryCare gratefully acknowledges support from the
Glaxo-Smith-Kline Foundation's Ribbon of Hope Program
for making this newsletter possible.
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