When you go into a coffee shop, you ready yourself for a transaction that involves an exchange of information, goods, and money. The rules are clear. You politely tell the barista what you want in a few words, and after paying a price, you get what you asked for.

If you go into the same coffee shop on a daily basis, that transaction is likely to change. You begin using one another's name; you comment on the weather, or on the fact that you haven't seen one another for a couple of days. The barista remembers your order; says they like your tie/scarf; asks if you work in the building. You feel special...welcomed. You decide you like this coffee shop.
You've small-talked a transaction into a pleasant interaction. It's not meant to be more than that - it's not a negotiation; there's no particular purpose in it, and the stakes aren't high  If we put a Lego analogy to it, we could say the two of you are exchanging run-of-the-mill brown and grey pieces.

But what happens when our interactions with others carry real importance and weight? Or in Lego-speak, what happens when we're expected to share our silver, transparent, or marbled bricks?

This month we're looking at relationship management and the problems created when we treat our interactions and negotiations transactionally.