Identity-based Conflict.  The phrase itself sounds daunting (and perhaps vague and confusing too). Simply put, we define this as a situation where our "sense of self" - how we see ourselves and/or define ourselves - feels threatened or under attack.

While the notion itself might seem grand, we think of it as very practical and ever-present.

If a prospective client says to me "I'm disappointed with the proposal you sent; it lacked creativity", I could easily go down the path of telling myself "I'm no good at winning new clients" or "I don't have a creative bone in my body, and I never will".   Alternatively I could go down the path of saying, "This client is so dumb. They just don't get it - they never do", or "This person's a jerk - they're just saying that so they can negotiate a lower fee". 

In either scenario, there's an identity component that serves as a foundational element of the conflict at hand. If we're blind to that dynamic, it will run the show. But if we become aware of it, we have at least a glimmer of hope of managing it. Read this month's article for pointers on how to do just that.