Personal vs. Professional? Or Private vs. Public?

WHAT YOU SEE DEPENDS ON WHERE YOU STAND

March 2013 - Issue # 13-03

Founder's Message

In my line of work I'm always being assessed: by conference attendees when I give a keynote speech; by participants in a workshop; by potential or existing clients as they consider a new project; or by senior executives as I advise them on a high-stakes situation.

I pay attention to my words, behaviour, and attire, because they affect the way others see me as well as my own sense of comfort. But the critical foundation that supports all of this is my ability to conduct myself in a manner that is professional and that is congruent with who I truly am. For me, this congruence is paramount. Any other way of being is exhausting, and over time would probably crush my spirit. But the importance of finding this balance isn't unique to me. We at Common Outlook see it play out time and again as we work with our clients - hence our decision to address the topic.

Last month's Newsletter explored what we define as "professional" conduct and whether it does (or should) differ from how we conduct ourselves in our personal lives. This month we examine the question more closely and offer a few words of advice, plus a twist on the question. Our hope: that by fostering insight and understanding, everyone ends up better off.

TIP

The 3-in-1 Burning Question/Answer TIP

"Do I dress, talk and behave in ways that convey my skills, experience and acumen?"

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Quote

"A wave's fleeting name and form seem to make it "something other than", but as the wave touches shore, we see it is always only ocean."

~ Rupert Spira

Article

"It's not the job you do; it's how you do the job."

Last month we offered a snapshot of how Boomers (ages 50-66) and Millennials (19-30) define "professional" conduct differently. In a nutshell, Boomers see more distinction than Millennials do between how they behave at home and at work. Millennials have been brought up in an era where the lines between home and work have been increasingly blurred (thanks to, or maybe not "thanks to" but at least "because of" technology). As such, they to see less difference between the two environments and therefore less need for significantly different demeanour and attire in these two settings.

Our take: as behaviours reflect values, the definition and evaluation of what it means for you to be 'professional' has to stem from you. That doesn't mean others won't define it as polished shoes, a good suit, and powerful demeanour, or evaluate it against shareholder returns or sales quotas, or rankings on an extensive HR list of behaviours. It just means any/all of those methods are praise-worthy if they provide insight, and hold weight against your values.

But the story doesn't end there. Because we do not exist in a vacuum, we all need to find a way to honour our values and reflect those in our way of being, while also honouring the values of those we work with. That begins with finding out what those values are, and how they translate into behavioural norms.

When someone says: "Drive on this side of the road"; "Walk facing on-coming traffic"; "Wash your hands;" they are telling others about the behaviours their country or society has devised to ensure the health and safety of all. Sociologists call them formal norms. These also exist in smaller sub-groups, such as companies, councils, clubs, project teams, sports teams, and so on. Along with the formal norms comes a set of informal norms - the kind of thing you usually learn over time by trial and error - especially when you've contravened one. Together, these two sets of norms constitute the expected behaviours of a group's members