The Rev. Sharon L. Vandegrift

sharon@btglifecoaching.com / 484-234-0664

Making Friends

Quotes

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand."
~Henri Nouwen

"Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend."
~Plautus

Prayer

"God, we have filled our lives with so many things there is scarcely room left for each other and for you. "There's not time!" we protest. "I know you're busy," we assume.

Slow us down , God: forgive our busy-ness which destroys our openness, our preoccupaton which leaves us unaware of the gentle breeze of your Spirit, our self-absorption which makes us ignore the cries of our brothers and sisters. And, if we have not yet been possessed by your word of grace and acceptance, we pray that our ears may be opened to hear it now."

~from Touch Holiness
by Ruth C. Duck

May 2015

Studies on personal resiliency suggest that having a network of people who love and care for you is one of the most important elements to positively navigating difficulties in life. But creating, nurturing and sustaining these circles of support takes time, energy and intention.

This month's theme is 'Making Friends.'

Enjoy ~ Sharon

Making and Keeping Friends

We were supposed to learn it as children, and it is embarrassing to even ponder the idea that we are no longer sure how to do it. But, for many adults it is a real challenge: ... making friends.

At a certain point in our lives we simply expect to have 'close friends'. All good people have friends...right? Well, actually, apart from our Facebook 'friends'; and those 'old friends' who we rarely see but can call on in a time of need; and, for some, spouses who are good friends; many of us do not have close friends in our day to day lives.

This is especially true for clergy whose lives are full of people but not necessarily full of friends. The majority of clergy report that they do not have any friends outside of the churches they are serving. That means no friends for whom they are not also 'pastor'.

In the midst of the intensity of our lives, many of us simply stopped making friends at some point in adulthood. Making friends takes time and energy and effort. Friendships are not just built into our everyday lives, we have to make room for them and nurture them. Though we may still have a cadre of relationships from our past, we may not have friendships that support the present season of our lives.

But we may be somewhat befuddled about how we can begin to make new friends. How do we connect on a deeper level with one or more of the many people in our lives? Though becoming friends is ultimately an organic process that takes root and grows more deeply over time, we can make the choice to begin that process.

The first step is to acknowledge the void in our lives and to decide that making friends is something we really want to do. Then we are ready to be open to the possibilities. We begin by identifying someone or a group of people who we would simply like to get to know better. Then, we find the time and create the space in our schedules and make plans to get together. If we continue to open up time and pay attention to making friends as a priority, relationships will grow.

� Are you ready to set aside time and energy in your life for building friendships?

� Is there someone or a group of people in your life who you would like to 'make friends' with?

� How might you begin the journey of making friends this week?

Bridge-the-Gap Life Coaching Services, LLC

~

Empowering Clergy to Excel

The Rev. Sharon L. Vandegrift

www.btglifecoaching.com

sharon@btglifecoaching.com / 484-234-0664