~Ralph Marston

One of the most common pitfalls of pastors and congregational leaders is our penchant for getting caught up in situations that scream for our attention but have little to do with our vision and mission. We spend many hours and huge amounts of thought and energy trying to fix these kinds of problems in our churches. Even if we manage to quiet the scream for a bit it, the quandary almost always re-emerges in some form or another. Pondering a few clarifying questions will assist us in gaining perspective and help us to direct time and energy toward ministry that matters. 

1. What can I control?

Be honest with yourself. You cannot control other people's personalities or  behaviors. But you can control your own responses.

2. What can I influence?

Using your influence to move forward can have a significant impact. Refusing to use your influence is refusing to admit that you are in a unique role as leader. However, if you step over the line between using your influence and attempting to control a situation you may seem to accomplish your goals in the short term, but the problem will eventually re-emerge and everyone end up frustrated.

3. What must I accept?

It is sometimes necessary to accept the problem as a chronic one that cannot be changed. Then the task is to keep it boundaried on the margins so that it doesn't interfere with the vision and mission of the church.