Newsletter #33
Winter 2014
Hope you all had a great holiday season, and a wonderful start to 2014! We have had a lot of cold temperature in Quebec these past weeks, but we have so much that's been going on that we keep warm running around the office!

Lise and our teachers will visit Belgium, France, Russia and Switzerland in the next three months in addition to our regular schedule in Quebec!

Take a little break in your day and enjoy this newsletter!

With love,

Monica Shields


Table of contents
Lise's article
Thanks Lise!
World news
New Video!
Next workshop in Toronto
A play based on Lise's book
Excerpts from Lise's book
Joke of the month
Did you know that when you say "I MUST...'' or ''I HAVE TO".. it's because you have an unfulfilled need or desire?                

Maybe you think it's normal to say it because that's just how life is. But allow me to explain why you should pay attention to how often you say it and even why you should write down the number of times you do. man-running-dunes.jpg


Let's take a few examples. You have just finished work and you tell yourself you have to prepare dinner for your family. Do you really feel like doing it? If you did, you wouldn't say, "I have to." So, this is telling you that you wish the opposite was true. Wouldn't you prefer to get home and not have to prepare a meal?


Do you sometimes tell yourself that you must go on a diet because you have gained weight again? Do you really feel able to do it? Wouldn't you prefer to accept yourself with this weight?


Another example, that has more to do with BEING, is the following: You tell yourself you must be more present to your spouse or your children. If you are not present enough to them, it's probably because whatever is preventing you from being sufficiently present is very important to you and it's your preference to continue in that way.


All these "I musts" come from our ego, which is working relentlessly to tell us what is good and what is bad. Therefore, every "I must" hides a fear that we would do well to identify. To identify the fear, ask yourself the following two questions each time you hear yourself say, "I must" or "I have to":


  • What would I prefer to do?
  • If I give myself permission to follow my preference, what do I fear will happen?

After answering these questions, check if you would be ready to assume the consequences of acting in accordance with your preference. If the answer is yes, which is often the case, you will have performed an act of love toward yourself because you will have listened better to your needs. If on the other hand you come to the conclusion that you could not assume the consequences. In that case, give yourself permission to be afraid and not to follow your preference. This is another form of love toward yourself. By making a conscious decision, you will naturally say or think "I choose to..." instead of "I must..." It will therefore help you be a happier person because you won't have the impression of always being obligated to be or do something that you don't feel like doing or being.


It'll also be easier for you to share your real need with those around you and to come to an agreement that reconciles your need and your "I must."


It is important to be more and more aware of the number of times you think or say, "I must," because it will help you discover your needs. Moreover, many people often find themselves thinking or saying "I must" because they are unable to say no or believe they are responsible for the happiness of others.


Don't let your ego play tricks on you! It's not a matter of simply choosing better words in place of "I must" or "I have to", whatever expression you use, the stress or discontent of not answering your needs will be present all the same. When you make the choice to do something, you do not feel uneasy or agitated. You do it with greater joy and acceptance.

With Love,


Lise Bourbeau

 Thanks Lise! 
Hi there Lise,


Just to thank you for your wonderful book 'Just listen to your body and eat - STOP trying to control your weight'. The most amazing chapter of the book is where you go through all the wounds. This was just a revelation! Because I bought the Kindle version which I have on my iPhone which is always with me, you would not believe how many times I have whipped the book out and read bits of it to friends (who have then bought the book too.)

I now know from reading the book that Betrayal is my wound, boy, is it ever. Thank you, thank you. I don't think anyone has figured this out like you have before and I wanted to thank you for your work.




Hello Lise,


I'm writing to you from Playa del Carmen, in Mexico. One of my cousins gave me your book "Healing your wounds..." and I finished it in just two days.

I was caught by it since I could almost feel as if you wrote it specifically to me. I'm so amazed and thankful for your effort in sharing this kind of loving knowledge.


Thanks so much and have a great 2014!! :)





Hello, Liz and all staff

Thanks very, very much for writing these letters. I caught myself at waiting for your newsletters. After reading them I feel like I grow over myself and love the whole world. And I want to share my feelings with everyone on earth.   
Thanks again

 World news 

If you know people living near Mexico City, you could share this with them. Lise will be giving a talk in Puebla on April 5, 2014.


April 5 2014 at 7 PM: Obedece tu cuerpo amate! Qué causa tu enfermedad o sobre peso?

Complejo Cultural universitario

For tickets: or 01800-BOLETOS (2653867)


New video!
Be yourself
Be yourself
Next workshop coming to Toronto! 

BE YOURSELF workshops


The dynamic and practical teachings of the BE YOURSELF workshop can help all those who really want to IMPROVE their quality of life. This one of a kind opportunity provides you with a solid foundation to pursue what you want out of life. 

October 18-19 in Toronto

2 days from 9AM to 5:30PM

$99 (+ taxes) per day

Register now:


For more information:

A play based on the five wounds of the soul

We were approached several months ago by a dance troupe who wanted to put on a play inspired by the book Heal Your Wounds and Find Your True Self.


We accepted and the first performance was held on December 19 at the théâtre de Ménilmontant in Paris.


Excerpts from Lise Bourbeau's book
Heal your wounds and find your true self! 

Lise Bourbeau  



...Another characteristic of masochists is that they punish themselves believing they're punishing someone else. One woman told me that she frequently argued with her husband because he went out with his friends and wasn't with her often enough. She often ended these arguments by saying: "If you're not happy you can go!" He would then hurriedly take his coat and leave, and she was alone once more. By believing she was punishing him, she was in fact punishing herself and ended up alone again. As for her husband, he was only too happy to go out. What a good way to feed her masochist mask!

Masochists also have a gift for punishing themselves before someone else does. It's as if they want to give themselves the first lash of the whip, so that those to come will hurt less. This situation mainly arises when they're ashamed of something or when they fear they'll be ashamed in front of someone else. They find it so hard to please themselves that when they do take pleasure in being with someone or in doing something in particular, they criticize themselves for taking advantage. Masochists do everything they can to avoid being labeled as someone who takes advantage of other people. The more they accuse themselves of taking advantage, the bigger their bodies become.


A young mother once told me: "I realize that I never manage to find time to enjoy myself or to enjoy what I'm doing." She added that in the evening, when her husband and her children were watching television, she would sometimes stop to watch a little. When she was interested in the program she would watch it but remain standing. She didn't even manage to take time to sit down because, in her eyes, if she did, she would be lazy and so wouldn't be a good mother. A sense of duty is very important for masochists.


Masochists are often mediators between two people. They act as buffers between others, which is a reason for creating a good layer of protection. They also manage to be the scapegoat. A masochist mother will intervene, for example, if there's a problem between the father or the teacher and her children, instead of teaching her children to assume their responsibility. At work, masochists choose a job where they have to intervene to sort things out so that everybody is happy. Otherwise, they would criticize themselves for having done nothing and they would be ashamed because they feel responsible for other people's happiness or unhappiness. They even take on other peoples' responsibilities and commitments.


The fact that masochists take on too much, that they have too much weight on their shoulders, is reflected in their physique. Their shoulders become more and more hunched so that they can support everything - or they suffer from backache.

When masochists can no longer take on any more, the strain becomes visible in their body. Their skin looks as if it has been stretched to the limit, as if there's no more room, as if they're stuffed into their bodies. When that's the case, they wear very tight-fitting clothes. It seems that if they breathe a bit too hard, their seams will burst. If this is happening to you, your body is trying to tell you that it's high time you healed your wound of humiliation, because you can't take anymore


Buy the book at these resellers or ask your bookstore to order it:
E-Book                                  Paperback

Will soon be available!

We'll let you know by email very soon when it'll become available.
Joke of the month

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the  parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''

The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''

''What about the green one?'' the man asks.

The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''

''What about the red one?'' the man asks.

The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''

The man says, ''What does HE do?''

The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''