Newsletter #32
Fall 2013

Hope you all had a great summer. Fall is now in full swing and this is always our most busy time. Lise and our teachers are travelling in 5 different countries to give 66 two-day workshops in 15 different cities. All this in 3 months!

Christmas is almost here! I'm exaggerating a little, but time does fly when you're having fun (helping people sure is fun!)...

I hope this newsletter helps you in all the right ways.

With love,

Monica Shields


Table of contents
Lise's article
New and improved workshop
Lise's trek around France
Excerpts from Lise's book
Now in Portuguese
Joke of the month
Did you know that others are your reflection?                

Last month's article "Do you know your soul mate is in you?" provoked some questions. One subscriber wrote me the following: "I think that what you said is well put, but how do we explain divorces? How do we explain the difficulties human beings have in sharing happy moments? I often come across couples who are far from being happy, and there is no small number of them. And yet things could be so simple."

First of all, I'd like to thank this subscriber for having shared her thoughts, as she has inspired me to write this article.

It is true that there should always be harmony in a couple. Alas, this is not always the case. Why not? Because we have difficulty putting into practice the rules of unconditional love, which are based on spiritual laws. Moreover, since our ego is unable to accept these spiritual laws (as it only understands that which is formed from mental energy), it pushes us to act against these laws, and this creates a lot of inner resistance and complicates our relationships.


Here is what true love is, as it is taught in the WELL BEING workshop.


True love:

  • is respecting my own space and the other person's space;
  • is giving myself, and others, the right to be human; i.e., the right to have needs, beliefs, wounds, limits, desires, fears, strengths and weaknesses that may be different from those of others, without judgement, and without guilt;
  • is guiding others without expectations;
  • is giving for the pleasure of giving, without expecting anything in return;
  • is accepting, observing, even if I do not agree, or even if I do not understand mentally. 

If you are able to love in such a way, you will automatically become a responsible person. True love does not mean that we are responsible for the happiness of others, but rather that we are responsible for our own happiness, and that we let others be responsible for their own.


There cannot be true love without real responsibility. That means that all those around us are responsible for their own choices and that they themselves have to accept the consequences. Whenever you believe that you are responsible for the happiness or unhappiness of someone else, you are not a responsible person, but rather a guilty person. Indeed, the opposite of responsibility is guilt. This is why we so often feel guilty in our relationships and why we try to make the other feel guilty by accusing them. When there is acceptance, there is no accusation, there is only observation.


Being responsible means that we create everything that happens to us according to our choices. We know that we are responsible when we are ready to accept all the consequences of our actions, our thoughts, our words, our decisions, and our reactions.


We can observe that a person is indifferent, irresponsible, or untruthful without accusing him or her of anything. How is it possible to observe without accusing? By remembering that we create everything that happens to us, that everything that we receive or perceive is only the reflection of what we are, even if it is difficult to admit that this is who we are.

If every couple knew that the other was there to help us know ourselves and to help us discover what we do and don't accept about ourselves, there would be harmony. We would then be able to become one with our soul mate.


Another obstacle to harmony within a couple is the difficulty in telling the difference between LOVING and PLEASING. We have seen in the above definition that loving means accepting, receiving the other for what he or she is, whether it be positive or negative. Pleasing means giving pleasure to another by satisfying one of his or her desires. For example, if a woman wants to go out to dinner with her husband but he refuses, this does not mean he doesn't love her, but rather that he is listening to his own desire instead of satisfying his wife's.


In a responsible couple, both people understand that each is trying to respond as best as possible to the other's desire. In my example, the woman can choose to go to the restaurant alone or with a girlfriend, or she could simply stay at home with her husband. Her husband, for his part, will respect her decision. What matters is not what she chooses, but rather that it is her own choice, and she will not be able to resent him for it.


This is just a simple everyday example, but it's the accumulation of these kinds of situations that chips away at a couple's love and can lead to a separation. I therefore advise you to start practising the rules of true love when you experience these minor problems. Little by little it will become easier to do it and you will be able to face up to any situation.

With Love,


Lise Bourbeau


When I was 7, I believed that pleasing meant loving. What I was not aware of at 7 was that I would, in the years to come, choose to please others, to please externally, to the detriment of my true needs.


I had decided that I would love myself after all my loved ones were pleased with me. It was only
much later, at 38, that I realized my race towards happiness was only an illusion. Indeed, whenever I checked to make sure I was making the right strides, I realized that the finish line kept getting pushed farther and farther away from me. I was running after the impossible. I was running after perfection so that I could have affection, to feel useful, recognized and appreciated.


To please, I chose to be responsible for the happiness of others.

To please, I chose to be a perfectionist and thereby assured myself of being able to rise to the challenge.

To please, I chose to no longer feel what was going on inside of me and thereby be effective and strong.

To please, I chose to destroy myself in order to reconstruct myself in a perfect body. To project an ideal image in order to forget the inner void it contained.


How far was I going on my path to self-destruction? Apart from thirty years of bulimia and the physical and emotional suffering that goes alongside it, I was, truth be told, prostituting my soul. All this so that I could be valued by everyone. I rejected my individuality, the only place where the perfection I was so desperately seeking was to be found. In my suffering, I was simply looking in the wrong place to find happiness, to find love. I had forgotten that the source was within me.


I can only be grateful to life for having led me to discover the teaching of Listen to Your Body. With the progress I've made following the workshops, I've taken back control of my health, of my well-being, of my life!


Everyday I find the child in me and I reassure her the best I can, so that she can cross the real finishing line one little step at a time. The one of true love! I listen to her, I encourage her, I forgive her, and I ask her for forgiveness, too. After all, we are only human beings...


I was able to overcome my eating disorder by accepting the part of myself that feared being rejected and abandoned. I am Melanie: A woman who wants to love herself through her weaknesses and fears, and who wants to be free to create her life according to her needs. I am no longer a bulimic. I am healing myself from an eating disorder. It's different. I accept myself with this weakness, with my limits, even if it's not what I prefer. I have finally understood that doing and having, have nothing to do with being. I passed this critical test with compassion for myself and with pride. I know that I chose this test so that I could learn to love myself and to have a taste of the happiness that has finally found me.


I am healing myself, day after day, with a tool that is accessible to all, that of true love. I have finally found a joie de vivre and inner peace. I feel calmer and more confident. I am filling my inner void with a growing self-esteem and with the love I am granting myself. The way I see myself and others is changing. I see in myself and others compassion, gentleness, and acceptance. I find my freedom when I let others manage their own responsibility and take back my own responsibility. That has had a direct influence on my family life and my social life.


I have chosen, after 14 years as a dental hygienist, to change my profession and help others love themselves. I want to help people find themselves, fulfil themselves, and remake themselves. I want to share with them everything that I have received with the Listen to Your Body teaching that has helped me succeed. For the love of myself I choose me now.


For the love of yourself, I encourage you to do the same!


Melanie (Laurentians, Quebec, Canada)

Has your life been transformed thanks to what you learned with us? Do you want to share your story with others, like you, who want to improve their life? 

Send your story to Monica Shields at 

New and improved workshop
For more than thirty years, our most popular workshop has been, without any doubt, the Listen To Your Body workshop. This workshop, which has helped over 20 000 participants improve their lives, has been perfected and simplified over the years.
Around two years ago, we had the idea to make it even more accessible. Thanks to the work of our wonderful team, we are now ready to unveil the details to you!
The workshop has changed its structure and its name. It is now called BEING WELL. And will help the participant, on day one, to feel the importance of being well with oneself. On the second day, they will learn techniques that help them be well with others.
This new structure will help those who have trouble freeing up two days, or who have budgetary restraints, because they can sign up for the first day only and, if they so desire, to participate in the second day. Moreover, the price has been reduced to $99 / 99€ per day. We are sure that this flexibility will please many of you. This new structure is available only in French and English speaking countries. 
If you would like to organize this workshop in your area, contact Mary Ivanchiu at
 Lise's trek around France

Lise Bourbeau has just finished her tour of conferences in France, in which 2181 people participated. She wants to thank all those who came to listen to her and who welcomed her so warmly in their region. You allowed her to do what she loves to do the most: teach people who want to improve their quality of life.



In a few weeks, she will give two workshops in Tokyo where a lot of people have been waiting for her to come!  
Excerpts from Lise Bourbeau's book

Just listen to your body and eat - STOP trying to control your weight

Lise Bourbeau  

ISBN: 978-2-920932-30-2    





The influence of the wound of betrayal on our weight 


The inner attitude of those who suffer from betrayal is I don't want to miss anything... I want to taste everything... I can do whatever I want... I don't have to follow other people's rules, or my body's rules... I'm the one in control here, not other people.When they were young, these people often felt controlled as to how they ate. It was their parents, among others, who decided for them. They try to make up for this as soon as they can. This is the type of child who, when their parents are away, will eat precisely the foods the parents do not allow. I remember one of my sons, who would not only eat what he wanted during my absence, but would settle himself in my beautiful new armchair in the living room to have it. This, even though he knew my rule of no eating in this freshly decorated room. When I got back, I found the plate with crumbs on the floor beside the chair. At that time, I didn't know why he would leave such traces and bring upon himself inevitable punishment. I told him it was not a very intelligent thing to do, as he knew full well I would have to punish him. If at least he had tidied everything away before my return, I would never have known that he had disobeyed me. Today, on the other hand, I am able to understand why he acted the way he did. He was in fact letting me know that I could never control him completely. From my own personal growth journey and experiences, I now know that children who are controlled too severely by their parents are influenced by their wound of betrayal to disobey in order to have their own worth acknowledged. Once he was an adult and no longer subject to my control, he decided to eat junk food as often as he wanted. It was his way of letting me know that he didn't have to follow my advice on healthy eating anymore.

Children who have been controlled in this way have not received the emotional nourishment that should normally have satisfied their needs. The love they received from their parents was too possessive and controlling. They were raised by parents who loved them according to what they thought was best, according to what they themselves had learned from their own parents and not according to the needs of the child.


As an adult, this type of person often adds too much salt or spice to their food. We know it is because they do not really taste the food itself. They will try to prolong tasting until they have satisfied their taste buds, which seek to be satisfied by the taste of each food.


Moreover, as this person often eats rapidly, their brain is prevented from receiving the message in time that their body is no longer hungry. This type of person refuses, most of the time, to be controlled by anyone, let alone by their body.


People suffering from the wound of betrayal do not listen to their body, as seen from the fact that they eat much more often than necessary. So then, they feel guilty because they know and feel that they have eaten too much. And this is the guilt that makes them gain weight.


In women, it is especially around their hips and stomach that the weight will tend to settle, while in men it goes to the shoulders and stomach. Due to this generally more robust appearance of the upper body, men who are heavy will unconsciously try to show how strong and capable they are. It makes us tend to call them strong rather than fat or obese...



Buy the book at these resellers or ask your bookstore to order it:
       E-Book                   Paperback
Also available in 8 other languages. Click here to discover them.
Now in Portuguese
The book Heal your wounds and find your true self has now been published in Portuguese! 
This book is now available in 18 languages. 
Congratulations Lise!
Joke of the month

A young priest gets up in the morning and goes to breakfast.


On his way there two nuns look at him and he says, "Good morning sisters" and they reply in a sing song manner, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

This stuns the priest who thought he had been very polite but he just goes on. 


He encounters a Brother a little while later along the way and he says,"Good 

morning Brother."The Brother replies in a sing song voice, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."The priest looks confused at all this but goes on. 


He gets a little farther and he comes across a fellow priest and he says, "Good morning Father." the priest replies in a sing song manner, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

Now the priest was mad. He continues his walk to the dinning hall not saying a word toanyone. The Bishop sees him and says, "Father ..."


The young priest was not going to take any more even from the bishop. He looks at the bishop and says, "No I did not get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!"

The bishop looks at him stunned and says "What?" The priest realised his mistake and said "I am sorry your holiness, what is it you want."

The Bishop looks at him and says, "All I was going to do was ask you why you had on Sister Ann's shoes?"