Most marketing folks use stock photos to communicate an idea or feeling. Unfinished Business is a movie with Vince Vaughn who got together with Getty Images to create social buzz with faux stock images. The parody is a group of fake business people pretending to stare, cross their arms, stand in a v-formation, point at a laptop or other ubiquitous and inane business poses.

The extensive use of stock photos got me thinking about authenticity and creativity. How many of us come up with genuine new ideas and concepts rather than recycled thoughts? Some say that authenticity is invaluable, but originality is non-existent. Jean-Luc Godard (the French-Swiss film director not Capt. Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek) said: "It's not where you take things from - it's where you take them to." I think the two concepts of authenticity and creativity go hand-in-hand.

 

I would like to think I'm self-actualized since my 20's, especially after some pre-marriage counseling. The therapist thought it was important to wake up my mind to the concept of "shoulds." Was I making decisions based on my own thoughts and beliefs or was my subconscious being led around by others' opinions (family and friends) or society?

 

One day while driving my old school stick shift Saab 900s, I was looking down reading homework the therapist gave me and suddenly hit a city bus. The impact was not that big of a deal, with little real damage to either vehicle. The bus driver got out and told me I should stay put since he had to call his supervisor. Meanwhile, I looked down at the homework that indicated not to make decisions based on others' "shoulds." My brain misinterpreted the homework and I quickly sped away, mostly laughing during my exit. The following week, I was excited to tell the therapist my successful bus story. However, the therapist just shook his head in disappointment as if he witnessed a pet relieving himself on his expensive Persian rug.

 

I later determined my true identity, with some disappointment, was summed up with only two words, "athletic nerd." Then again, Carl Jung teaches us that "The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are." So I am comfortable in my own shoes knowing that I'm not pretending to be someone else. If I need a reminder, I often hear an old friend's advice floating somewhere in my cerebrum, "don't should all over yourself."

 

So why be spurious, wear a mask or filter your answers depending on who's standing in front of you? I suppose it could be society's "shoulds" or parental training. Whatever the source, it seems to me that we should be more concerned with truth than opinions. I bet most people you meet can't answer the simple question, "Who are you?" Hint: you should answer without saying your name.

 

When I hear others say, "Can I be honest?;" I tend to get momentary Tourrets. I know it's just softening words, but what I really hear is, "I've been lying to you this entire conversation, but now I've decided to tell you the truth." By authentic I'm not talking about the condescending, "I'm cooler than everybody in the room" style. I suggest you say what's on your mind and your heart, all the time. Otherwise, you're just delaying the truth. Yes there are caveats. Have some filters, including general manners and not say every random thought that pops into your head.

 

If you communicate honestly, I suspect your appraisal career and personal relationships will improve substantially. You might get some push back from those uninitiated to the real you, but remember "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." Don't be a stock photo guy or stock photo girl. Vironika Tugaleva, author and inspirational speaker, sums it up nicely, "You'll never know who you are unless you shed who you pretend to be."