There seems to be a coach for just about everything. I have a whiteboard in my office that I constantly write and erase things that are either in the works, tasks my team and I need to review, or things I've written down that I need to look at daily so I don't forget.  Yep, I'm that visually minded.  

One of the things that I have written down is "always be coaching" and "always look for coaches". Why?  Because I have to remind myself to be a coach for those around me. Not a boss, not a friend, not a peer but a coach. And to do that I need to be coached all the time, even if it's just through self talk.  I also need to keep my eyes and ears open for opportunities to be coached by others, who most of the time by the way, don't even know they are coaching me. But most of all, keeping the "always be coaching...." written in plain sight helps me remember what coaching is. Coaching isn't counseling problem behavior, discipline or delegation. Coaching is for improving things like skills and knowledge. It's about confidence building and conversation.  If you manage others, you've probably said, "They just don't do what I tell them." The problem is that "telling" is not coaching and no one likes to be told what to do. They want to be coached along. And it's vital to remember that change occurs incrementally. It takes a lot of reinforcement to influence real change. Patience and consistency are your allies.

I hear from the companies we work with to implement software solutions that their employees are resistant to the change being brought on. Of course they are! We all resist change when it's someone else's idea, not our own. So the key is what? Coach people along even though the temptation is to lose patience and try to get what needs to be done by brute force. Oh, don't get me wrong, all good coaches use discipline...which isn't the same as telling someone what to do or using force. Truth is, discipline is a part of any good coaching plan and must not be confused with a "command and control" style. It's also true that the line between how to use discipline and control is really, really fine. It takes skill to walk that fine line and there are only two ways to get that skill - 1. study it regularly or 2. hire someone who has it to help you.

Managers who "tell" rather than coach or use control improperly not only waste their own energy, but are potentially making it more difficult for their team to accept a new idea.  It's easy to think that telling people what they must do is the fastest way to get things done, but it's not, and deep down most of us know that.  Coaching, hands down, has proven to be the way to go.  

Coaching works best as a dialogue. And just like in sales where the prospect should be doing most of the talking, whoever is receiving the coaching should be talking as much or more than the coach.  When a prospective client is talking about how much they like your solution, they're selling themselves. Likewise, coached people are more likely to sell themselves on the need for change if they're talking rather than listening.

Lastly, here's the deal. Until the issue you're coaching about has been perceived as a problem by those you're coaching - meaning they have taken ownership of the issue at hand, there's little chance of change. No one looks for solutions unless they need to fix a problem. How do you get ownership? By asking discovery questions that are short, targeted and start with the words "what" and "how." For example, you could ask an underperformer, "What do you think about your progress in this compared to the rest of the team?" or "How do you feel your contributions to the project's success have been lately?"

If you first gain buy-in for the need to change, maintain a level of trust and work to understand what motivates each member of your team, your coaching results will increase significantly. Oh yeah, and if you're like me...a little too impatient sometimes...keep a whiteboard with a visual reminder handy!

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