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| The terms Work-Life Balance and Work-Life Integration are sometimes interchanged. I think there is an important difference. In an article in Fortune magazine the headline was "Work Life Balance is Dead and Here's Why That Might Be A Good Thing."
That's because, and I agree, it's not about balance, it's about life choices and integration.
The video I enclosed this month is entitled Work-Life Balance, yet I believe Nigel Marsh does a pretty good job nailing the main stress points I see coming up over and over again when I am coaching leaders or teaching my leadership courses about this issue. They often have questions about how to integrate all the important parts of their lives.
Work-life balance, to me, implies that there are two people, the work you and the non-work you on either end of the teeter-totter of life, when in fact, there is only one YOU. The visual I see is someone constantly saying, "should I do A or B right now" with A being all work and B being all of life that isn't work.
Work-life integration, on the other hand, congers up a very different visual. It's more like the puzzle pieces up top. There is only one "puzzle" to put together, only one life, and it's you and your life. How the various pieces fit together is what defines the quality of your life for you. You are a 24 hour human being who is making choices constantly - about where and how to spend the precious time of your life.
As leaders, we must also be conscious of how well our employees are integrating their puzzle pieces - because well integrated employees are FAR more engaged and productive at work than those who are scattered. What are we doing to help them ask themselves and us the right questions and then helping them make the healthiest choices?
There are three things I talk to people about when I'm discussing full life integration; these never fail to generate important thinking and usually re-framing of old paradigms.
1. There are "rubber balls" and "glass balls" in life. The rubber ones are things and relationships that can bounce back even if we drop them. The glass ones won't bounce back.
2. Time management isn't about tricks and tips, methods and processes. Those are just tools. Time management is about our choices. For example: 90% of the hundreds of people I have asked this question "what is the most important thing in your life?", say their number one priority is their FAMILY. Yet only 10% of those same people said they spend enough quality time with their families.
3. Multi-tasking is inefficient, exhausting, and can be dangerous. So please stop doing it! If you don't believe me, read some of the science:
The reality is - when we focus and make conscious choices about what we want and need for ourselves; and also focus and make choices about what others who matter - want and need from us, we can successfully blend our personal and professional lives into one integrated whole. This results in what I call WinX3 - we win - our employer wins - our families win. I really like that equation!
8 questions you can ask yourself and others:
Score yourself
On a scale of 1-6 with 1 being a low score and 6 being a high one
1. Are you happy/satisfied with how the 'puzzle pieces' of your life are fitting together?
2. Have you consciously created and maintained explicit and reasonable"boundaries" for yourself that create the time you need in every important part of your life?
3. Are you taking charge of your calendar, how you spend your time, and with whom?
4. Are you making healthy choices physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually that help you feel whole and fully integrated as a high functioning adult?
5. Do you make time to rest, to just think, rejuvenate, and get fresh perspectives about your life?
6. Do you have friends inside and outside work?
7. Do you cut yourself some slack when you aren't "perfect" at home or at work?
8. Do you have regular conversations with others about work and life integration and the choices you are making and why?
How did you do score yourself? Maximum score = 48
These questions should get you, those you lead, and the people you live with, into an meaningful conversation and help you on your way to putting YOUR PUZZLE all together on top of YOUR table.
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WHAT'S NEW?
I am headed for Toronto on June 8-9th to work with a very progressive and forward thinking, large municipality as they plan the launch and roll-out of my blended learning course:
"Leading With Impact: Your Ripple Effect" as their in-house leadership program. We are all very excited to work together on this unique project that will impact hundreds of leaders within their civilian and police force staff.
We had a great discussion on the Cornell University campus on May 12th with the Senior IT Professionals who chose my book as their very first "book of the quarter." For the past 5 weeks, the ITReads group has participated in on-line discussion of 2-3 chapters per week. Debra Howell (first row, second from left), organized this terrific gathering Thank you Debra!
Franziska Racker Centers sponsored a morning workshop on the 8 Leadership Insights and 4 Core Masteries from my book, along with a book signing, on May 15th in Ithaca. Thanks you, Perri LoPinto, for organizing this wonderful event for the local community.
SPONSOR:
TRUSTEE PARTNER for Higher Education Recruitment Consortium
TRUSTED PARTNER AskRoxi is their premier leadership program in the country for Independent Assisted Living Providers
Update: Cross of Ivy is now available in paperback for pre-order on B&N, IBooks, and Amazon for July 15th shipping. B&N and IBook are offering a pre-order for the e-book as well. For my friends at Cornell, Cross of Ivy may ring a bell or two in your Tower.
Lead Like it Matters...Because it DoesJust ONE sentence makes a difference, and it only takes a couple minutes. Thank you SO much!
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PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT MY BOOKS AND
PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK
I'd be delighted to speak inside your organization
or at your professional Association Conference.
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QUOTES
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QUOTES OF THE MONTH AND BOOK RECOMMENDATION"Work and play are used to describe the same thing under differing conditions." Mark Twain
"When work becomes play and play becomes work, your life unfolds."
Robert Frost
"Choose a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life."
Confucius
BOOK OF THE MONTH
The 8th Habit
From Effectiveness to Greatness
Stephen R. Covey
There is a lot of time spent on the importance of our "Voices" in this book.
I love the dedication in the front:
"To the humble, courageous, 'great' ones among us who exemplify how leadership is a choice, not a position."
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SPREAD THE WORD!
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I encourage you to share this newsletter with anyone you feel would enjoy it. Remember, past newsletters on a wide variety of leadership topics are located in the archive in the link above right. Just click and read. Enjoy!
See you in June!
Roxi Bahar Hewertson
AskRoxi.com
HighlandConsultingGroupInc.com
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QUESTION:
"I never unplug. I have two smart phones, an IPad, and a lap top, I can look at email and do messaging and facebook on all my devices 24/7. Even on vacation I can't uplug. Is this a bad thing?"
ANSWER:
On the whole, I would normally say, yes, you've allowed technology to seep into every nook and cranny of your life and you may be neglecting other parts of your life.
However, if your life is well integrated in every other way, and if you are actually living your life joyfully, then the technology is just a tool you are using to integrate personal and professional relationships and activities. And that's just fine.
Today, there is no one-size-fits-all to integrate the various priorities in your life. Either you do it well or you don't.
For instance - if you are not having meaningful conversations in person with people who matter to you, that's a problem, but if you are using your tools to set up times together to have those conversations, it's not.
If you are emailing people at work at 2 in the morning when they are supposed to be sleeping, that is sending a horrible message and demonstrates a serious boundary issue. Few people can or should have to live up to an expectation that they have to respond then or even before they leave their homes. IF you can't help yourself, at least put a time delay on it!
On the other hand, if you and they are working late at night together or playing together, then, by all means, email to your heart's content.
Technology cannot replace human interaction - it can, however, enhance or diminish it.
I'm sure you've seen this - two people are out for dinner and one or both are reading email or texting someone or something vs. talking to each other. What does that tell you about their relationship and their priorities? It's not only sad, it's rude, particularly if one of the parties is being ignored.
If you answer calls that aren't an emergency (and very, very few calls in life are), you are telling your partner(s) that they are less important than whoever is calling you. Do you really want to send that message?
If these kinds of behaviors are a constant in your life, then I would suggest that your life isn't very well integrated right now and you have work to do.
Pay attention to your important relationships. Those are the people in your life who like, love and need you.
Technology isn't going to laugh and play and work with you. It will NEVER love you or promote you or pat you on the back. So use it as a tool whenever it's useful and helps you enhance and integrate your life.
Silence it, turn it off, put it to sleep, do whatever it takes to let it go when you have better things to do.
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