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HAPPY SPRING EVERYONE!
Yes, I've been MIA for three months. You may have noticed, or not. I am reminded not to take myself too seriously when I remember that as far as I know, no one suffered or was in pain in any way because I took three unexpected months away from writing this newsletter!
So you might wonder what have I been up to that was so important I didn't make it a priority to write this newsletter for three months? That's a fair question. The answer is, I've been reinventing myself and that has taken more time than I expected, introspection, and work.
We humans are creatures of habit. We like a lot of things to stay the same yet we want to be fascinated, excited, and making progress. Having it both ways isn't always possible without a bit of unheaval. Every day we and our world and the people around us are changing. The only question is...are we conscious of those changes and are we managing them in our lives to reach our goals and aspirations?
Leaders need to reinvent themselves continuously, to adjust, and be agile in a rapidly changing environment. Businesses need to reinvent themselves to be relevant in the marketplace. Nonprofits need to collaborate or evaporate. Reinvention or recalibrating or rethinking our paradigms and choices is a worthy exercise as long as it doesn't break us, but rather makes us happier and healthier at work and at home.
In the last 6 months I have moved from NY (home for over 40 years) to NC, we moved our business, I finished final edits on my novel and started two new books, joined Craig Duswalt's RockStar Marketing Mastermind, and will be hosting my own international internet AskRoxi radio show in June. I've been on television talking about a few leadership myths (see above), and last but not least, become a grandmother of healthy twin boys - the latter for which I take no credit! It's been nuts, fun, challenging, exhausting, and worth it.
Why did I choose to do all this upheaval and "reinventing" at this stage in my life? It's actually quite simple. In my line of work, I have to keep learning, growing, experimenting, and moving forward while staying keenly aware of what brings me joy in my life, my physical surroundings, and my work. What I want and need have changed once again. I hop on a plane fairly often to work with my fabulous clients and see dear family and friends. And still, it was absolutely clear that it's was time for a change in latitude and focus.
Reinventing one's self does not mean changing values, or personality or anything core to one's nature. I believe it means taking stock of who and where you are, and being dead honest about who and where you want to be...then objectively evaluating how much those two things align. For me, taking a break was a necessary part of taking stock; I recommend it highly - even if it's just for a day or a week to really think. Staying true and relevant to yourself is also a gift to others around you because it means you are being AUTHENTIC and people trust and feel much safer with authenticity.
From time to time, I urge you revisit where and what you are doing with your life and assess how at peace with that answer. Then you can determine what choices you can make, if any, small or big - to align yourself.
Effective leaders assess and adjust their environment and their direction constantly. I hope you will take some time to do it for yourself.
Here are 7 great questions to get you started:
1. What puts a smile on your face? 2. What sparks your creativity? 3. What would you do for free? 4. What do you like to talk about? 5. What makes you unafraid of failure? 6. What would you regret not having tried? |
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WHAT'S NEW?
Cornell IT senior professionals chose my book as their "book of the quarter" and I'm honored!
Teaching 1 and 6 day LIVE Leading with Impact: Your Ripple Effect courses several times this year. Get in touch with me if you want a live class for your leaders or potential leaders.
Have become a proud SPONSOR of the NCCI and will be attending their conference in July 
Recently became a TRUSTEE PARTNER for Higher Education Recruitment Consortium and will be working with their Board in October
Senior Living Smart is a Trusted Partner who has chosen AskRoxi as the premier leadership program in the country for Independent Assisted Living Providers
Update: My Novel, Cross of Ivy will be published by Koehler Publishing on July 15th. Very exciting. Here's a bit of what the back cover says to peak your interest:
"Uncomfortable secrets are tucked inside the thick, stone walls of the prestigious Ivy League school, Cross University. This is the story of Abigail O'Malley Trudeau, the smart, loving, and beautiful daughter of a working class WWII nurse and her fatally wounded wartime husband.
Cross of Ivy will take you on a riveting journey though a saga of two families over four generations with an intriguing peek behind ivy covered towers."
Sounds like fun, eh?
Lead Like it Matters...Because it Does
I am currently writing what I believe is a desperately needed handbook for leaders - and my third business book, "Hiring Right and Firing Right" with a subtitle something like "Could Save Your Career" The other book I'm writing this year will stay a secret until it's finished!
I recently attended Craig Duswalt's RockStar Marketing Bootcamp - 3 days of fabulous non-stop in your face learning! If you are leader, an entrepreneur, want to write a book, want to make a difference...I highly recommend Craig's Bootcamp.
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PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT MY BOOKS AND PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK
I'd be delighted to speak with your organization about what I believe matters... in leadership.
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There are 5 ways to connect with each other and me...
AskRoxi.com Linked In Facebook Twitter Newsletter
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QUOTES
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QUOTES OF THE MONTH AND BOOK RECOMMENDATION"It is not the easy or convenient life for which I search, but life lived to the edge of all that I may be." Mary Anne Radmacher
"If the teacher is indeed wise, he does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind." Kahlil Gibran
BOOK OF THE MONTH
Third Edition
Pollack, Jefferson, and Wick
I know the Roy Pollack and I know the immense amount of research and work that went into this edition of this fabulous book. If you are a leader of team, in HR or OD and facilitate groups, and/or design training and development programs...you need to read this book!
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SPREAD THE WORD!
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I encourage you to share this newsletter with anyone you feel would enjoy it. Remember, past newsletters on a wide variety of leadership topics are located in the archive in the link above right. Just click and read. Enjoy!
See you in May, most likely!
Literally yours!
Roxi Bahar Hewertson
AskRoxi.com
HighlandConsultingGroupInc.com
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QUESTION:
"What can I do when my staff won't give me feedback but instead talk behind my back or only to each other?"
ANSWER:
This begins with being clear and aligned about your work place culture which starts with your values and the behaviors associated with those values - stated or not. The outcome you mention here tells me that there either isn't a value around respectful candor and truth telling and/or no one is being held accountable to such a value.
So then the question is... why not?
It also tells me that, for some reason, real or imagined, staff don't feel safe/comfortable "managing up." This can be about their own 'authority issues' and/or in response to something you've said or done.
If the values have been agreed to but are not being demonstrated, why is that?
If they haven't been established or agreed to, then that might be your best first step - getting the group to discuss and decide what each of them and all of them, including you, are willing to be held accountable to so that your workplace is a place people WANT to come into. Then...it has to happen or it's just talk and no walk.
Another question to ask yourself is, "What part do I own and what part don't I own."
You may need some help figuring that out, but you must. Being defensive or in denial won't help you here. This unhealthy group dynamic is only going to get cleaned up when the relationships get cleaned up and that takes sustained and consistent effort on everyone's part.
People get sideways of each other for two main reasons - MISCOMMUNICATION and/or Unclear or Conflicting EXPECTATIONS.
I suspect both are culprits here and a non-threatening intervention by an objective and skilled third party is probably wise.
Bottom line - when you are the leader, the culture is yours to model, manage, communicate and to hold people accountable for demonstrating. So there's work to be done, even if you thought you'd already done it. The symptom is not the dis-ease. Go deeper - get to the root cause and then work on solutions - definitely not blame of others or yourself. That won't get you anywhere.
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