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 | Adam Baker - TEDx
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A BASIC QUESTION for YOU
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Greetings! |
The TEDx I'm sharing with you above is about making the time to consider and then act upon what is most important to you. It's about getting down to "basics" with your own life and career. The questions are thought provoking and timely reminders to stop and think about what really matters to YOU.
You may have noticed this is a 2-month newsletter. The reason is simple: I was tending to the basics first - at home and at work, making sure I took good care of my family and client needs first. In doing so, I realized it was suddenly February...and I discovered what I wanted to share with you.
After all these years being a leader and coaching leaders, there is one absolute truth I can share with you: the basics of leading well have not changed since the beginning of human time, and are not likely to do so anytime soon. We all know what good leadership looks like, tastes like, smells like - and we all know the same about bad leadership. It's not rocket science - it's harder! As much as leadership is written about, talked about, and bemoaned when it is absent or abused, I still see so many people holding leadership roles who have not yet integrated many of the BASICS in their relationships with their staff, boss, or even colleagues.
The lessons of Leadership 101 are not optional. One cannot become an effective leader without demonstrating the basics consistently. Yet, so many talented, smart people are struggling because somehow they skipped important steps or were pushed up before learning and integrating the BASICS of good leadership. They find themselves leapfrogging and even crashing through their career without mastering the foundational good habits and skills they need to succeed in the very important job of leading individuals and teams.
The havoc that results from ignoring the basics cannot be overstated. Just a quick look at the headlines should give us all pause - from the political arena, to education, senior living, hospitals, law firms, non-profits, etc.....people arrive at the front line, the middle, and the top, not necessarily because they are stellar or even experienced leaders of people. Much more common is that all the "necessary" boxes have been checked off for technical skills, certifications, and educational requirements. All head stuff. Emotional intelligence is often mostly or completely ignored. And presto! People who have never led a horse to water are expected to lead people, meetings, and projects, and get great results.
The problem is...the individual star player/performer often arrives on the job without the skills to be a star coach. Pick any enterprise, profit or non-profit anywhere on the PLANET and you will find excellent leadership is the exception not the norm. Sadly, it's more often by luck, than by design, that we have any good or great leaders at all.
As you can imagine, this is not a recipe for sustainability of our species or our planet. While this is a scary thing to come to terms with, the great news is that each of us who lead other people CAN make a big dent in this age old dysfunctional paradigm, and SHIFT it. It's the #1 reason I do what I can to help leaders whenever I can.
I hope reading the enclosed SEVEN BASICS will inspire you to pay even more attention to what matters most. There is of course, much more. I chose these because in my experience these are quite often forgotten. Read More
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7 QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BASICS
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1. What's the balance of time you spend focused on things (budgets, sales, reports, others' meetings, files, emails, etc.) compared with the time you spend on your people?
2. Do you often wonder why people say and do things you don't want them to say and do and they are surprised you are displeased?
3. Is leading people joyful for you - is it work you look forward to most of the time?
4. How often do you find yourself making assumptions about people before getting to know them well?
5. How much time did you spend THINKING last week - without interruption?
6. How much time do you spend talking to people vs. listening to them?
7. How well do you believe you "walk your talk," say what you mean, and do what you say? How do you know if you are right about your self-perception?
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Be honest with yourself, and read the enclosed 7 BASICS (there are many more, of course!) to get you centered and focused in the direction you want to go.
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STAY TUNED...My New Book...
"LEAD LIKE IT MATTERS...BECAUSE IT DOES"
Will be published in the Fall/Winter 2014
by McGraw-HillAnd in MARCH we will take a look at: HIRING WELL...THE FIRST TIME!
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What should I do if I really do not like a person who reports to me?
Answer:
This challenge is not trivial. Your feelings WILL be noticed on your team, no matter how hard you try to hide them. The better solution is to find a solution.
The questions to ask yourself are, " What's at the core of why I don't like this person? Do they remind me of someone else I don't like? Did they do something that violated my sense of right and wrong? Is it his/her personality, style, or attitude, or is it some a combination of these?"
In the "reminds me" case, accept that this person is not someone else. Make the time to learn more about them.
If you have a values disconnect, then as the leader, you have the right and responsibility to be clear about what are acceptable and
unacceptable behaviors at work.
Even if you don't like this person's personality you have the opportunity to discuss and explore personal preferences that may be opposite from yours. For example: if one of you is an Extraverted personality and he/she prefers Introversion, help each other by learning to communicate in new ways.
"Normal" is not who YOU are; normal is person specific. We cannot expect everyone to think, process, and talk or even perceive the world exactly the way we do. It just isn't going to happen. Given the chance, you may discover that your differences make a stronger team.
Once you identify the specific causes for your distain, you can and must provide him/her with constructive feedback. As a leader, it's unfair and unkind to keep this person in the dark. The relationship with you is critical to their well-being. You are 50% of any relationship you have and you must do your part.
Finally, if you can't find a way to resolve it, it is possible he or she also may not like you. If this is the case, it's time to have a candid, civil, and objective conversation. Perhaps s/he would be more successful working with someone else who would be more aligned in style and approach. There is no mileage in having you both trying to force fit a significant mismatch.
Remember, when the conversation stops, all chances of having or even ending a relationship gracefully, stop.
As the leader, take the high road, identify and discuss what's getting in the way of a successful relationship. And please do your best to find a positive, win/win outcome.
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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." Aristotle
"Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least." Goethe
"People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care."
John C. Maxwell
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