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ASK ROXI
WHAT ARE YOUR LEADERSHIP QUESTIONS... GOT ONE?
DECEMBER QUESTION | |
"WE'RE FRIENDS & PARTNERS IN OUR BUSINESS, BUT FOR SOME REASON OUR EMPLOYEES TRY TO PLAY US AGAINST EACH OTHER. WHAT CAN WE DO TO STOP THAT BEHAVIOR?"
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Call it out for what it is and put a stop to it right now. Make sure you are specific and clear about your observations and expectations. Use Constructive Feedback skills to have these conversations - and then make sure you have them.
Employees who behave this way often sense a weakness or see an opportunity for themselves. You and your partner need to do the same thing parents need to do: get on the same page and make certain your employees understand what is and is not acceptable behavior - then stick to it!
I expect a lot of this has to do with the way you make decisions. Without clarity about who makes which decisions and how they will be made, you've inadvertently sent a message to your employees that decisions are a free for all and if they don't like Mom's decision, then they'll go to Dad or in this case, the other Mom.
My last thought on this is about consequences. People do what they get rewarded for doing. So if you keep letting this slide and it works for your employees, you'll keep getting this behavior. When you call it out and attach negative consequences to the behavior, it will stop -cold. |
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HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
BY ROXI
BOOK...
What Got You Here
Won't Get You There
by
Marshall Goldsmith
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 | HOW HIGH CAN YOU GO?
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Greetings!
This is the time of year when we get all revved up about setting new goals, and promising ourselves to achieve them. We have next year budgets nailed down at work, progress planned, and maybe even some new ventures in mind. We are going to change all sorts of things - at home and at work. Then what happens? January 1 rolls around - tomorrow in fact - and we start to make some progress - and then slowly but surely that slippery slope of habit has us sliding back into our old patterns, getting lost in the busy-ness of our lives at home and at work. Okay, we say, next week really, I'll get on it or maybe next month would be the perfect time to focus, or maybe it's December 31, 2013 and we wonder what the heck happened to the year.
From Alice in Wonderland... "Cheshire Puss," she began...'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat. "I don't much care where," said Alice. "Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. "So long as I get SOMEWHERE," Alice added. "Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough." If this sounds at all familiar, and you want to change your "somewhere," to a place that really matters to you, then you need to change the way you accomplish your goals.
Procrastinating, making excuses, putting our heads in the sand, or blaming someone else won't get us anywhere. We have to focus our energy on goals that truly matter to us. Shoulda, coulda, woulda, just won't cut it. If you want to grow your business, climb Mt. Everest, lose weight, make a positive difference in our world, or anything else that matters to you, TWO conditions must exist and you must have them solidly in your mind.
HIGH CLARITY: When you KNOW where you want to go, you can see the end result in your mind's eye, you have the facts, and you have a clear understanding of what it will take - you have a shot at it.
AND
HIGH COMMITMENT: When you BELIEVE in your goal, are ready to put your life force behind it, stay laser focused, and do whatever it takes to get there, no matter the obstacles - you have the will it requires.
That's where we all must start - anything less will get us a lot less. For instance High Clarity with Low Commitment looks like a lot of noise and no action. Low Clarity with High Commitment looks like energized chaos and no action. Low Clarity with Low Commitment looks a lot like sleeping!
SMART Goals are fine as far as they go. It's important that your goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time Bound, but where is the energy? This gets you HIGH CLARITY, yes, and that's all. It's only half the loaf! In fact, having SMART goals as your only test can limit your progress, thinking, and can even put obstacles in your path. You may get too heady, detail obsessed, and inside-the-box in your thinking and doing. Smart goals do not engage anyone or inspire them to higher levels of achievement and effectiveness. They provide a comfortable framework - which is a good thing - but too much of good thing is not going to get you where you want to go.
Dare to go the distance and give your goals the HEART test. Adding HEART buys you the other half the loaf, HIGH COMMITMENT.
Read More
I often hear leaders say they want climb the highest mountain, or build the next best thing, but then they go right back to doing business just as they always have. I know you've heard this before and it bears repeating when we're talking about goals. "Insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results." Einstein said. And he said, "A person who never made a mistake, never made anything new." For 2013, I urge you to engage your heart as much as your head when you embark on this year's goal journey. Leaders....start your engines!!!
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5 KEY GOAL QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF - WHY DOES THIS GOAL MATTER TO ME?
- HOW MUCH DOES IT MATTER TO ME?
- WHAT WILL BE BETTER WHEN I ACHIEVE IT?
- IS IT IN MY TOP 3 - IF NOT WHY NOT?
- DOES IT PASS THE SMART-HEART TEST?
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IS YOUR #1 GOAL TO BECOME A GREAT LEADER IN 2013? THEN NOW IS THE TIME TO SIGN UP FOR...
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HOLD THESE DATES and CONTACT US
APRIL 29 - MAY 3, 2013
W i t h R O X I H E W E R T S O N & J E N N K A Y E
LEADING WITH IMPACT: YOUR RIPPLE EFFECT
5 DAY LEADERSHIP INTENSIVE
AT HIGHLAND LODGE CENTER
IN THE BEAUTIFUL FINGERLAKES OF NY
A w e e k t h a t W I L L m a k e a d i f f e r e n c e!
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 | | Roxana (Roxi) Hewertson - Leadership Advice for Women) on NYC TV: The Woman's Connection w/Barrie-Louise Switzen |
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 | An Inspiring start for your
NEW YEAR!
In Celebration of the Human Spirit!
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UPDATES:
I expect, like many of us, December has brought you joy from friends and family as well as great sadness. Our hearts were broken this month with the unthinkable tragedy in Newtown, CT. And it cannot be forgotten by most of us, and never by those who lost so much.
This brought home to me the reminder that as leaders, our people look to us in times of of loss, pain, and tragedy. They look for our guidance, optimism and hope. People need to talk, to cry and to recover from difficult, even catastrophic, times at work or at home. I truly believe, without cultivating genuine EMPATHY in ourselves for others, and demonstrating EMPATHY to our people, leaders are not truly leading. We may get work done, but if we don't understand our people or the intrinsic and extrinsic motivators we cannot expect to achieve and sustain great results or grow loyalty and trust. Conversely, when we do understand, listen, and care, our people know it.
John Maxwell said, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." I know that you know how true this is.
When I was not distracted from work by world events, I've been focused on my #1 GOAL - to reach and help as many leaders as possible by creating a safe place for leaders to get answers. The AskRoxi web site will be ready to launch on schedule in the spring. I am looking forward to getting to know you and many other leaders as we help each other with our challenges and questions.
The free pilot testing slots for our on-line course - Leading with Impact: Your Ripple Effect, are now filled. I want to thank everyone who signed up. We will have over 100 people engaged in the pilot from late February - March. We are piloting 2 versions - the individual self-study method and the blended learning facilitated method for organizations. The latter will be with two different groups of leaders working at Cornell University and SUNY Cortland.
ARTICLES and APPEARANCES
This month, I've had a lot of fun with Seattle and NYC on live radio and a taped TV shows and more articles were published. I am spreading the word about effective leadership wherever I can. So I hope you will stay tuned in!
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Remember, you have access to archived newsletters by clicking on the ARCHIVE link in the left column
SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!
Cheerfully yours!
Roxi Bahar Hewertson
CEO and President - Highland Consulting Group, Inc.
  Follow me at AskCoachRoxi |
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