I am all about intentions. In fact, it's one of my mantras- to live life on purpose. It's a key to having a meaningful and fulfilling life. It's one of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, etc. And yet, there can also be a shadow side to creating intentions- and that is missing something being offered. We don't value it because it's not what we have in mind. We don't see it because it doesn't fit into our plan.

This happens every day when we cut off a meaningful conversation with a co-worker because we get a non-urgent text, or don't take the moment to catch up with a friend when we see them in town. It's a delicate balance.

It reminds me of my eight-month trip around the world in my twenties. I went on a hiking trek into the mountains of Nepal for several weeks with the intention of learning about the culture, connecting with local Nepali people, etc. What I found was a TON of foreigners, Nepalis busy with the tourism economy, and me somehow on the same hiking schedule as a group of British army soldiers in training. Once I got over my initial disappointment that I might not get to know the Nepali culture as I had envisioned, I then received what was being offered- a peek into British culture as these guys took me under their wing (I was traveling alone), nicknamed me "Yank", and let me hang out with them. I learned a lot about British culture in those two weeks, and though it wasn't part of my plan, it is one of my favorite memories of my trip.

This morning, after I wrote this first draft, I went downstairs with the intention of returning quickly to my computer, and my daughter rushed up to me and asked me to play. I started reflexively to say, "No, Mom's working," and then caught myself and laughed. We played a little while and had some lovely time together, and then I went back to my work feeling connected with her-having gained, not lost. So how about you? Whether you are thinking about your summer plans, upcoming work projects, or even a family reunion, it's great to set an intention, and then it is also helpful to be able to let it go and be with what arises. You might be surprised.

OK, I admit I was somewhat resistant to reading this book, and not sure why. I do a lot of work with women in leadership, and here I was not wanting to engage with this conversation about the book that is all over the talk shows, magazine articles, etc. And so I read it. And it's good. And it has me thinking. And I invite you, both men and women, to read it because gender in the workplace, work-life balance, and the roles we play are important life issues.  

I found myself liking Sandberg more than I thought I would; she comes across as compassionate, funny, and likeable. Whether you agree with everything she says or not, what I appreciate most is that the book has allowed me to see some of my blind assumptions and narratives about gender, to reflect a bit more intentionally about what's true for me in this conversation, and how I want to respond going forward.