Transitions are usually "mixed bags." We have work transitions where we are promoted to a new job, or in these days of financial difficulty. Either way, we encounter stress. In moving to a new job, we experience loss at leaving the people and responsibilities that have been important parts of our lives, and on the other side, we have the stress of an often steep learning curve in our new roles and the innumerable ways that different processes and patterns impact us.
There is actually an emerging field in psychology called transitional trauma related to aging. Some of the issues involve transitioning and downsizing into senior residences or starting the process of moving out of homes where children have been raised and 40-50 years of memories created. These changes involve huge numbers of stresses. When to make a move during later years, how to discard and clear away possessions in ways that feel positive and intentional, what financial stresses may be involved over time in a move, and conflicting reactions of family members about how to plan for health care needs.
Research on transitional stress indicates that even in times of positive transitions, Stress can rise to levels that require help to manage. We may experience forgetfulness, inability to focus or make decisions, trouble sleeping and other symptoms.
At this time of year, a common type of transitional stress is the transition from the demands and pleasures of the holiday back to a full workload. Maybe during the holiday break you hosted an extended family dinner, or joined someone else's. Perhaps you revisited the old family dynamic or hung out with friends. It was glorious, or it was tedious. Perhaps you're one of the lucky ones: You like your family and they like you. You've found a way to understand and accept each other and the generation gap. Through divine Grace, psychological insight, Buddhist compassion practice, or sheer heroic effort, perhaps tolerance and geniality actually ruled the day. Congratulations! Oh, what's that you say? You're still worn out after the holidays? It happens to the best of us.
Whatever your holiday season was like, it's time to shift gears again. If you're like most of our readers, your everyday routine has its own set of stressors. You care for ten or more clients each week, as well as outreach, accounting, and business tracking. Maybe you handle supervision, training, or other professional responsibilities. In addition to your business, you look after your household and family members, as well. How about that credit card bill from December/ And aren't taxes coming up soon? You need to recharge your batteries before you dive back in.
Let us help you make the transition. Here are ten approaches you might try to smooth out the start of a new year.
(1) Rest as much as you can.
When was the last time you had a hot soak in the bath, or piled into the living room with pets & loved ones to watch your favorite movies? This kind of deep rest, in which you do pretty close to nothing for at least a couple of hours, can really refresh your physiology, encouraging deep, full breaths and bonding with loved ones. In turn, this helps your body recover more quickly from illness and helps it resist infection in the first place. Which is great, especially if you travel by plane or wipe small noses a lot.
(2) Stop taking on new stressors.
For goodness' sake, do you HAVE to say yes to every invitation that comes your way? A friend needs help moving. You're invited to teach another course. The Neighborhood Whatever Committee could really use your participation... Yes, well? NO. No, sorry. No, thank you. No, alas. No - Yippee! Try this highly rewarding exercise: Count how many hours you can make available for your favorite activities by NOT accepting three new commitments this quarter.
(3) Envision your brightest 2014.
Take some time out to dream up your best imaginable new year. Make it sweet and exciting. Disallow worry and doubt at this point. Think only about what's going to be inspiring, what would really make this coming year a year you'd be eager to live to the fullest. The negatives are sure to come anyway, and they don't belong in your big, fresh, motivating vision for the new year. Then set aside the idea of new year's resolution. To avoid getting overwhelmed, realize you're not going to make it all happen in the first three months. Once you have your wishes in sight for the year, try planning out only one step each for January, February, and March. You can revisit and tweak the plan any time rather than locking yourself into resolutions.
(4) It might really help to have a good cry if stress
really intensifies. Once you stop crying, usually it's possible to shift to more positive and full perspectives about the changes you dread.
(5) Remember that stress is temporary.
You might ask yourself, "Where is the evidence that stress will last forever?" Taking a few moments to look back on stressful situations and how you resolved them may help you keep a more realistic perspective.
(6) Lean on your friends or other people you know can help.
You may not be able to trust your own feedback so elicit feedback from a wide range of people in your life.
(7) If you feel disoriented and out of place, write for about 4 minutes about how the new change in your life might lead to new experiences that could benefit you.
(8) Accept your feelings.
Rather than struggling with how you are feeling, accept your reactions. Sometimes journaling can help you come to better terms with them.
(9) Give yourself credit.
Remember that it takes courage to move through transitions. Remind yourself what you've done to cope. Continue to practice this kind of self-compassion to move forward.
(10). Think about possible outcomes.
Even if you're feeling anxious, write down what could end up being beneficial for you. Put a date on your calendar when you'll check back in to see whether any of these possibilities are beginning to take shape.
(11) Sign up for my webinar Shifting from Worry to Wonder with Dr. Marty Rossman "on demand."
Some people who signed up for this event earlier this month had trouble with the video viewer on January 8 so we're offering the audio download for half price. Go here to register. It's excellent material and very relevant to this topic, not only giving you more ideas about coping successfully with transitions but also how to help your clients at these challenging times. This offer is good through January 31st.
For more information about dealing effectively with transitional stress, visit here.
Thanks for reading. We hope you find the key to unlock any difficulties you might be having in embracing this new year.
My Best,
Maggie