As we gear up for theWeek of Constructive Conflict, I was reminded of my personal encounter with the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) in New Orleans several years ago. Attending a Jewish conference, I confronted a dozen protesters. Their placards said "God Hates Fags" and "God Hates Jews" and "Your Rabbi is a Whore" and "God Hates Your Feelings."
Constructive Conflict in Hebrew is machloket l'shem shamayim - dispute for the sake of heaven. The Mishnah distinguishes a dispute for the sake of heaven according to 3 sets of criteria: content, tone, and intention. According to Rabbi Amy Eilberg, this means the disagreement is about a topic of sacred import, the parties treat one another with dignity and respect, and approach the dispute not to embellish their egos or reputations, nor to shame or defeat the other, but to learn, to discover truth, "even to discern the will of the Divine."
Conflict is all around us. It is unavoidable. The key is in how we deal with it. The capacity to dissent as the rabbis prescribed contributes to critical thinking, to creativity, and to innovation. It's why Apple says "think different." It is essential to education and it is a crucial element to our success as individuals and as a people.
Westboro Baptist Church exhibits none of the qualities the Mishnah mandates. From my brief encounter, I was sure that constructive discussion was impossible.
I was wrong.
Two individuals (a Jew and a non-Jew) engaged one of the most virulent of WBC hate-mongers in dispute for the sake of heaven. They did not hold back their revulsion at WBC hatred, but treated her with humanity and respect. As a result of these interactions, the spokesperson for the Church, a granddaughter of founder Fred Phelps, left the WBC and renounced its theology of hatred. You can read the whole remarkable story here.
Not every conflict can be resolved in this way. But if the tools offered by the rabbis can work with members of the Westboro Baptist Church, surely we can use them to address conflict within our own community.
A few hundred of us will be studying these tools at the Feast of Jewish Learning on February 20th - learning how to apply this rabbinic wisdom for ourselves. I hope you can join us.
RSVP appreciated but not required. Donations gratefully accepted.
The Feast of Jewish Learning is presented by SPARE (South Peninsula Area Rabbis & Executives) Jewish LearningWorks, J., and the Jewish Community Federation and Endowment Fund. It is made possible by our community partners, our extraordinary educators, and the hundreds of participants and volunteers who have kept the Feast cutting-edge for over 16 years.
The Israel Education Initiative creates and curates programs which are available for rent or purchase.These tools are meant to be used in the classroom to encourage exploration and discovery of Israel and its rich and complex history, society, arts & culture, current eventsand more.
For more information on Israel Education and Arts & Culture, or to schedule a consultation contact Vavi Toran at VToran@JewishLearningWorks.org.
Professional Development Opportunity
Enchanted Journey w/ Piyut
Experiential Workshop for Educators and Beyond
Sunday, February 21st 1:30 - 4:30 JCC East Bay, Berkeley
Connect with the rich heritage of this musical tradition and the different communities from around the world, their history, folklore, food, customs and the special sounds and Piyutim they bring with them.
Joy! A Yoga, Dance and Prayer
