Irony at it's best ...and worst!

After getting home Monday evening, Barbara informed me that the right fog light on the Durango was out.

Reaching under/behind the bumper, I was able to find the lamp socket, 1/4 turn twist and out came the bulb. Much to my chagrin, the bulb had shattered within the fog light housing. The front glass of the housing had been cracked for a few years, but was now filled with condensation, the glass was dirty and the remains of the bulb were in the bottom. So I thought it was a good time to replace the entire assembly. But, with today's manufactured vehicles, what used to take minutes can now take hours.

I spent the next 1.5 hours, in the dark with a flashlight, under/over/behind the bumper and wheel well trying to determine how to remove the entire housing. I found only one, tiny, thin screw that appeared to hold this glass domed bugger to over 4,000 lbs of metal! Of course, while attempting to remove said screw, the torx head stripped! The tools had nothing to bite on, so I still had 2 tons of metal to remove from around my precious fog lamp! Different tools, drilled heads, several failed ideas in the dark and finally, a filed down, oversized metal screw was used to drive the screw back to its original position. The thought of just replacing the bulb itself was getting to be a much brighter idea!

The next morning, I spent about another hour or so (don't tell the boss) surfing the net, looking for videos and how-to's on replacing the entire light package. Amazing how many videos are out there -- for every stinking vehicle except your own! Many a drawing for everyone else but you. And just how many PDF manuals you can download that show you absolutely nothing!

My next step? Call in a favor. A client works at a local Auto Dealer in the repair shop. A call to him and he proceeded to call three of his buddies in the Dodge department. 'Do you need to take off the bumper or its facia, to replace a fog light assembly?' Simple question to those that work on Durangos -- or you would imagine. Their answers? In Unison? "We don't think so..." Really?

That night, Barbara and I went to the mall. I hadn't placed the order for the fog light yet and wanted to check out some local auto parts stores to get pricing and if necessary, to place an order. So I did want to get back home sooner than later. I would soon learn all those hours spent on my back, behind the wheel well, in front of a bumper with flashlight in hand and time spent surfing the internet, was all for naught.

As we walked out to the parking lot, we heard two women screaming and yelling at each other. I'm thinking, wow, a cat fight! But as we got closer, Barbara realized they were shouting about hitting other cars and that's when we realized it, yup, my blessed SUV was struck! And where? You guessed it, full on the front right bumper!!! Right where the fog light...err...was.

A mom was teaching her daughter how to navigate parking spaces and the young driver hit the gas instead of the brake. Not only did she take out her mom's car and my SUV, but the vehicle next to hers. And as you can see, that missing round spot on the lower fender? That's where the fog light housing used to live. Right there, directly in the path.

We had to have it towed...and to add insult to injury, after it was pulled onto the flat bed, what did I notice on the floor, just underneath the hood of the vehicle? The fog light assembly. How does a round assembly give you the...well, you know...a proper send off? It found a way...


Robert