In the past few weeks I've received several inquiries from people who want to engage in mediation but don't know where or how to begin. Some of these inquiries were from parties involved in disputes with employers or family members, and others were from counsel. They may have some general knowledge about mediation but don't really understand how a mediator can help them. This newsletter provides a roadmap that will answer many common questions.
What can Mediation do for you?
Mediation is a process where a third party neutral helps facilitate a discussion between people who are having a problem, in order to help them solve that problem. The problem might be which nursing home a parent should go to or what direction two partners want to take their business. In fact, the possibilities are endless; my annual reflections blog post from 2014 can provide some more examples. If you are facing a difficult conversation a mediator can provide assistance. A mediator will not make decisions for you or tell you what to do. A mediator is skilled at listening with care, questioning with insight, and negotiating with wisdom. For more detail on the skills that mediators cultivate and bring to difficult conversations, peruse this set of posts .
How do I find a mediator?
With the Internet it's fairly easy to locate a mediator. You can enter search terms that are important for the type of issue you want to bring to mediation. For instance, you might enter "mediation and/+ estate" for an estate dispute. If you want to find someone close by then add the town or county to your search query. Alternatively, you can ask trusted advisors, such as lawyers, accountants or friends to see if they have used mediation and can make recommendations.
What should I look for in a mediator?
Once you have some mediators' names or referrals from colleagues, you want to find out about their experience. First, you will want to know how long they have been practicing mediation and in what subject areas. In Maryland, so long as the case is not referred by a court, there is no training requirement. Many states require a 40-hour basic mediation course, but a newly trained mediator without much case experience is not a wise choice. Second, you might want to inquire about their style or their approach to mediation, or whether they have a practice philosophy. There are many different approaches to mediation, such as narrative, facilitative, evaluative and transformative. An evaluative mediator often provides an assessment of the value of a case or the likelihood of success at trial, if the parties make such a request. Look for more elaborations on mediation approaches in upcoming newsletters.
How do I get mediation going?
Mediation works best when all participants agree to enter the mediation process and also agree on who their mediator is. Thus, my preliminary conversations with parties do not get into any of the merits of the dispute or issue. The first step is to discern enough to assess potential conflicts of interest and suitability for mediation. These initial conversations last ten to fifteen minutes, and it is my practice not to charge for these calls. I want potential parties to get a sense of me, my approach, and my style, and determine if they think I'm the right fit for them.
When the call is from one counsel for a case that is in litigation I prefer to get both counsel on the phone. In this call I find out basic information about the parties to assess any conflicts of interest, the litigation status, and to determine the timing of the mediation. I explain my process and office policies and find dates that work for everyone.
When parties agree on what qualities they need in a mediator and find a mediator who meets their needs, this is the beginning of the problem solving process.
Do I need a contract in order to engage a mediator?
Once you select a mediator he or she will send you an "agreement to mediate," which outlines the process, confidentiality provisions, and payment terms. Mediation is about self-determination and either party can leave at any time if it is not suiting their needs. Similarly, the mediator can terminate the process if the process is being abused or if ethical issues arise that require withdrawal.
Are there other questions you have about the mediation process? If so, please feel free to post them on my blog and I'll happily respond there.
Basic Mediation Training, Ellicott City, MD Sept. 28-Oct. 2, 2015 For registration information go to