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Conflict Resolution Newsletter
by Alternative Resolutions, LLC 

April  2013 - Vol 3, Issue 4
In This Issue
Company News & Recent Publications
Leadership Presence
Theory Applicaition Tips
Conflict Resolution Events
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 New website feature: our prior newsletters are now available on our website!!!
Company News and Recent Publications

 

Coming soon...

Negotiation Primer, Virginia Society of Accountants

 

Just published...

Newly Revised Fact shet

The High Cost of Conflict Email us for a copy.

 

New roster...

Ellen Kandell was recently approved to join the mediator list for Montgomery County Circuit Court custody disputes.

 

Check out our recent radio interview on mediation and dispute resolution. To listen click here.

   

 
"The High Cost of Conflict, Smart Biz" was published in the March April  edition of  270 Inc. Business Magazine.  Email us for a copy at [email protected].

 

 

Greetings!

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We continue our series of articles on leadership and conflict by focusing on the inherent characteristic of presence, something we generally take for granted.   The concept of presence could be described as knowing consciousness.  We discuss the dimensions of presence, its signs and threats.  As always we conclude with practical tips you can use everyday.

Leadership Presence

 

Presence refers to the mental, emotional and spiritual resources which are required to witness ourselves in interaction with others.   Mark Gerzon, Leading Through Conflict: How Successful Leaders Transform Differences into Opportunities, Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Press, 2006. Presence is vital when we are involved, directly or indirectly in conflict situations. Conflict, whether between two companies, co-workers or spouses stops us in our tracks.  Our natural inclination when faced with conflict is to be defensive.
 

Presence relates to the critical self-management task that leaders encounter in the face of the challenges presented by a dispute. It means being in the moment right now. It is a tool of the heart, the mind and the soul.   Leaders who want to be thoughtfully responsive to challenging and complex problems need to master the dimensions of presence, its threats and its signs. Without a consciousness of presence a leader will be reactive and defensive, especially in conflict scenarios. He or she won't respond from their core compass of values when the element of presence is not activated.

 

It is interesting to note that having the quality of presence is even more challenging in today's technology enabled world to connect with the notion of presence. The devices on which we depend and run our lives stand as a barrier to the core concept of presence.

 

Dimensions of Presence

 

The Mind:  The mental part of consciousness refers to being awake or aware. Linear thinking often creates more conflict and rarely transforms it. "Presence requires access to more than the ordinary, linear mind".  Id.

 

The Heart: This means developing the capacity to use the tools leaders have in the right context and for the right reason. Id.   This form of presence is captured in the books of Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence at Work. Most leaders make a lot of mistakes in this department. Without the emotional compass of the presence factor leaders react inappropriately out of fear or fail to identify an actual threat.

 

The Soul: This refers to spiritual qualities of stillness, detachment, and visioning. From these periods of recharge one gains insight into the third component of presence and a vital perspective.

 

Signs of presence: agility, flexibility, responsiveness, openness, inventiveness, selflessness, adaptability

 

Threats to presence: arrogance, defensiveness, self- centeredness, disregard

Next month: Inquiry

Theory Application TIPS

TIPS for leaders on presence:

    • Practice being aware
    • Focus with 100% of your being
    • Be alert to warning signs
    • Look at whether prejudgements interfere with being present
    • Take periodic recharge breaks
    • Take technology breaks
    • Find obstacles to being present and release them
    • Practice presence
            

Do you have questions about this month's article? We'd like to hear from you Email us now!

Conflict Resolution in the Community:  Upcoming Events
 

Basic Mediation Training, June 2013.  Email us for further information. 

 

April 25, 2013 Frederick County Society of Human Resource Managers, Frederick, MD

 

May 2, 2013:  Trusts and Estate Planning: American Society for Appraisers, Arlington, VA

 

 

We look forward to being your partners in productive, proactive conflict resolution endeavors. If you are a new reader or didn't request a copy previously please email us for a free copy of our organizational needs assessment.  Put your organization in a conflict healthy environment.

Sincerely,

Ellen

Ellen F. Kandell, Esq.
Alternative Resolutions, LLC