This reminded me of the movie, What About Bob. Bill Murray stars as Bob - a man with obsessive compulsive disorder who can't even leave his apartment because he's afraid he'll spontaneously explode.

We know that feeling.

Richard Dreyfuss stars as a therapist who inherits Bob from the previous therapist, one who has obviously run as far away from Bob as possible. The new therapist has just written a book called Baby Steps. The movie then shows Bob as he doggedly uses "baby steps" to get to his new therapist. Once he gets out, he realizes that the baby steps are working, and they ultimately change his life. He goes from a man who can't function to a confident man who seems to be taking over his psychologist's successful life. The more Bob improves, the more the therapist devolves and becomes dysfunctional. Bob doesn't need him anymore. Baby steps become Bob's mantra.

So picture a baby who is just walking for the first time. He takes baby steps around the coffee table. Eventually, he stops cruising the furniture, lets go and starts taking baby steps across the room. This opens up an entirely new world. He's no longer crawling, looking at what's stuck under tables and chairs where the lamp never shines with his face skimming the lint, crumbs and goodies in the carpet. His eyes are lifted to the sparkly and breakable objects on the table, the bright colors of the couch cushions, and the sunbeams inviting him to step out of the sliding glass door. All it took was baby steps - even a baby can do it.

Sometimes, we as caregivers are trapped in our own thinking just like Bob. Our perceptions of ourselves and our loved ones are pessimistic and perhaps even a little over the edge. If we allow someone else to care for our loved one, one of us will surely explode. If we leave our house, we might step on a crack that breaks our mother's back. We don't know how to function outside of our caregiving role. Let's face it - there might not be a lot of difference between Bob the agoraphobic who never leaves his home, doesn't have any friends, and is obsessed with one person-and some of us.

But what if we take baby steps too? Baby steps means that we stop crawling around and start walking upright, standing on our own two feet. We'll have a different perspective. Baby steps aren't a big commitment. They are small changes that take us in a different direction. We're just doing a few little steps at time, so we don't tire our little legs out or run out of steam. And we can sit back down at any time.

We can accomplish great things using small, baby steps. In the movie, Bob changes his entire life, one baby step at a time.

Baby steps could be exactly what we need in our lives. If we're overwhelmed, let's break down what we have to do into smaller pieces - and get through one thing at a time. If we're feeling stuck or can't really feel ourselves at all, let's take baby steps towards self-recovery. And baby steps can work for our loved one who we're caring for as well. There must be something shiny out there that we'd all like to see close up. And even if this new direction isn't right for us or our loved one, no worries; our baby steps haven't taken us too far down the road.

 The program consists of 90-minute sessions that occur once per week for 9 weeks. The program is conducted in a small group setting with two trained group facilitators. Participants are provided with many resources including a handbook covering class material, a meditation CD, and a relaxation strategies DVD. Read more. 

Jan. 18 - "A Beautiful Backyard Cottage for Mom and Dad". with Author Beth Baker.

Jan. 25 - "Service as a Second Act". with Doris Griffin, Director of Jefferson Outreach.

Feb. 1 - "A Crunchy Hope? Fitting Diabetics For Dental Implants". with Dr. Thomas Oates, UT Health Science Center.

Feb. 8 - "What Does Successful Aging Look Like?" with Gerontologist Mary Fridley, Gero-Resources LLC.

Feb. 15 - Topic TBA with Speaker and Author Elaine Sanchez, co-founder of Caregiverhelp.com.

1.    Take Your Oxygen First!
Join a support group for caregivers and make time to engage in other activities to balance your caregiving duties with your personal body, mind and spiritual needs. It's important for you to have a place to vent and deal with your feelings. Above all, don't forget that you are human. 

2.    Ask Questions and GET ANSWERS
Learn as much as you can about your care recipient's primary disease and underlying conditions. In the long run, your loved one's medical team will appreciate the fact that you are informed and may be more willing to share information with you. Read more 

I am getting ready to start filling out my disability benefits application online, but I'm concerned I will need to stop before I can finish it. Can I stop before completing the application and come back to finish it later? If so, how do I return to my online application to finish it when I have all the information I need? Also, my daughter offered to help me with my Social Security claim and wants to represent me. Is that okay?

Answer:

Applying for disability is a multi-step process that may take one to two hours to complete, depending on your situation. You can save your application as you go. This allows you to come back and finish later. Read more.