What a treat to see so many of you at our Thanksgiving services this weekend! I hope you all have a beautiful holiday. John and I will be heading up to Maryland - "over the river and through the woods" - to see our cousins in Kensington. It's always a joy to be with dear ones and I wish the same for you.

 

Just last week I had the chance to travel a good bit farther - to Northern California, where I used to serve before I came to UUCF - for a retreat with colleagues. The topic was a tough one, not unrelated to our UUCF theme of Honesty: the challenges and hard-won blessings of life in congregations that have been harmed by clergy sexual misconduct or other violations of trust. I personally have worked with congregations like this in the past and was glad for this opportunity to build supportive connections with colleagues who are helping congregations to heal.

 

I wish I could say clergy misconduct was a rare problem, but sadly a great many of our Unitarian Universalist congregations have experienced these wounds, just as other denominations have. The consequences of clergy misconduct can ripple out far beyond harm caused to the primary victims, creating dysfunctional patterns of congregational life that can persist for generations. Chronic mistrust and shame, difficulty welcoming newcomers, a lack of focus on mission, fear of conflict and disagreement - these are some of the symptoms that can plague these congregations for many years, especially when the abuse remains a secret.

 

Yet there is hope. At the retreat we heard stories of congregations that have worked hard to overcome the legacy of abuse and today are thriving and life-filled once again. It's not easy, but it is possible. Courageous congregations have been able to face their history and move beyond it. Truth-telling is a huge step - telling the truth about what has happened and how it has affected the community. And when truth can be named, however terrible, all the energy that has gone into protecting the secrets of the congregation can be liberated and re-channeled into the service of change and rebirth. What a testimony to the power of honesty.

 

Though, thankfully, not all of us have had to overcome such difficult challenges, I hope we can all take inspiration from the power of individuals and communities to recover from deep wounds. Today we are seeing brave congregations asking themselves, how can we change how we do things to create a safer, healthier community? How can we get past the shame we feel and come alive again? These congregations are doing the hard work and it is awe-inspiring to witness their resilience and courage. I hope you will join me in sending thoughts and prayers of encouragement to everyone who is walking this path of liberation.

 

Warmly,
Laura