We were visited by over 60 teachers from our neighboring Catholic schools this past Friday.  As part of our professional development the principal group decided that half the teachers in our Deanery would visit schools when they were in session and the following week the other schools would reciprocate by visiting classrooms.  Our hope in this design was that teachers would not only visit classrooms but that teachers across grade levels would discuss lesson design, pedagogical approaches and assessment strategies.  Simple questions would help surface complex answers: why did you teach that lesson now or how do you account for the kids who don't seem to understand?  We just wanted to open up avenues for meaningful professional conversations.

What became evident is that this kind of professional development opens up anxieties and feelings of vulnerability.  Our teachers increasingly felt the pressure that comes with peer judgements.  Instead of the simple questions taking center stage, questions about competency and credibility began to creep in as we all felt we were under the stage lights.  No matter how many times I said, "let's just enjoy it and learn from the day", the self doubts were unsettling.  I was no exception as I asked four times about the schedule, considered repainting the stairway handrails, suggested to Barbara Bolanos that teachers submit their lesson plans.  It was like we were being visited by an Accrediting Team!

As all of the visiting teachers and principals gathered in the Art room that morning, I welcomed them on behalf of our school.  I know my anxiety was up having just heard from one of our teachers, "I am not sure I am breathing" and another said she had "changed outfits three different times this morning".  As the bell rang and all 60 teachers went to their grade level classrooms or subject areas, I wanted to say, "be kind".  I was just about to the stairway on the third floor when I came upon two girls  in the hallway with their teacher.  "What's wrong I asked?"  "There are ants in my backpack", the sweetest little girl said.  I am thinking to myself, not a good day for ants in a backpack but asked why did she think there were ants?  "They are all over my desk and I think there is food in my backpack".

Having just cleaned out pieces of banana and sesame seeds from a backpack and shaking dozen of ants from various pockets, I walked down to my office.  Just then, a kindergartener came in with a mouth gushing with blood.  "I lost my tooth."  Late arriving teachers asking where should they go, gauze and ice for a little boy who had bite into a lego piece losing his tooth, and a call to the teacher asking, "we don''t have the tooth, could you look for it in the lego set?" were all conspiring to put me over the top and we hadn't even reached 8:50 am.  

By 9 o'clock, as I entered the kindergarten class with the boy and every classmate ran to him to see how he was and the teacher gave him his tooth in a little plastic treasure chest, he gave me a smile with a gapping hole.  I saw the two girls right after the first period was over and one said, "I almost threw up when you reached into my backpack and took out that banana, thank you for helping me".  By then, I knew everything was just as it was supposed to be on a Friday morning and I just enjoyed the rest of our day.

God reminds us everyday: take care of the girl, stop the bleeding, comfort the boy, breath, laugh, be present, trust.  God placed our colleagues into our school last Friday so we could learn, share, and recommit ourselves to our important work.  It was a good day and when the last visiting teacher left, we let out a sigh, gave high fives and got back to our kids.  We will do it all again next week!

peace and laughter,