At the age of 6, my son was convinced he could only swim in the shallow end of the pool. Jumping into deep water, he reasoned, wouldn't allow him to put his feet down to rest if he got tired. No amount of explaining on my part persuaded him otherwise.
"You can tread water if you're tired." No response. "You can float on your back." He wasn't having it. "It'll only be scarey the first time you do it. Once you realize you're safe, it'll be a piece of cake from then on." He looked at me like I was speaking Greek.
One afternoon, his older brother and a couple of friends were whooping it up in the pool as only prepubescent boys can do. Little brother finally had enough. He looked at me angrily and said, "Okay, I'm jumping in. And when I drown it'll be your fault."
With that, he leaped over the edge into the deep end, floated to the top like a cork and swam to the other side. A big smile on his face, he shouted, "You were right, mom. I didn't sink and I'm not scared any more."
Ah, to have him still think I'm that smart, now that he's all grown up. That's a story for another day. This story, however, is a HUGE lesson in courage. How many times do we avoid doing things because they're scarey? And how many of those times are we really more afraid of what we think it'll be like? A lot, am I right?
So here's the good news:
YOU ONLY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING THE FIRST TIME ONCE.
(Re-read that sentence before going on.)
After that, its newness is gone and the sharp edge of the unknown is worn down. Need more of a nudge? Here are three little tricks guaranteed to bolster your courage.
1. Ask yourself, "Who else has gone through this and survived?" I did this one a lot when I was going through my cancer treatment. Of course I was scared of the diagnostic testing, the surgery, the chemo (toxic chemicals mainlined straight to your heart). But I rationalized that thousands of people had already been through all of these and come out on the other side. I was going to as well.
2. Visualize your situation. Athletes do it, actors do it, even politicians do it. We might as well do it too. See yourself in action, doing the very thing you're most afraid of. But before you jump into the water, imagine what you want the outcome to be. Then go back to the beginning and play out the scene with the desired outcome as the finale.
3. What's the worst that can happen? If you're still a little nervous, figure out the worst case scenario. Nine times out of ten, the worst does not involve anyone dying. So what if you don't look as smooth as you'd wish on a first go-around. Newsflash: we think the social spotlight shines brighter on us than it really does anyway.
So, are you ready? Of course you are! You're more courageous than you think. Now go find the deep end!
