What's your definition of Sucess?
In January 2013, a question crossed my desk and my mind. The context was sports; specifically coaching; more specifically, coaching youth sports. It rocked my world, and I've seen and experienced enough (and been a) bad youth coaches that I wish we could get every one of them to write out their answer to the question. But I've found a LOT more applications of the question, and specifically as it relates to speaking. The question is a simple one:
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What's your definition of success?
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Over the last few years of refining the content for our workshops, I've been asked for lots of simple rules, short-list tips, and easy-to-remember definitions. We work hard to make our materials simpler, easier to follow, and more sticky, or easy to remember. We coach our clients in behaviors and structure and engaging principles that all work to make a speaker more effective.
But that nagging question has remained at the back of my mind: what's the measure of success? I have run across people who have stated that their personal speaking goals were to:
- Testify before Congress
- Win the World Championship of Public Speaking
- Ace the interview to land their dream job
- Survive the upcoming event without (too much) medication, passing out, or even with those events, just GET THROUGH IT.
That's a pretty broad spectrum for defining success! What's your definition of success?
People call us all the time to prepare, polish, plan, and practice for their big events (check out our
coaching packages). But I've had a sort of revelation about where speech coaching begins (and ends), and I think you could apply this to a LOT of other areas in life (marriage, work, finances, health, volunteerism, or even your week's activities).
What's your definition of success?
How will you define success for your next speaking engagement? The vast majority of requests I get can be summarized from the following list of categories:
- I want to get over my fear of speaking
- I want to be a polished presenter who wows the audience (or, weaker, I don't want to embarrass myself)
- I want a particular outcome (from an interview, pitch, meeting, or conversation)
On the surface, these may seem to be good-even great-objectives. Some of them can even be measured. But I am thinking more and more they are misguided and problematic for those that wish to be truly great. Here's why.
They all violate Rule #1 (It's not about You). Check the pronoun. All begin with "I". And some (most) are likely completely out of our control anyway.
Begin your next speaking engagement, meeting, training event, or conversation by considering the blank in the following sentence:
My speaking will be a success when my audience _____________.
It's a simple perspective change. But it yields tremendous results!
What's your definition of success?
