Glossophobia, noun

---the fear of speaking in public

Apparently, this term is new.  It's not in any of the dictionary sites (Webster, dictionary.com, or Oxford!)  I first heard it two weeks ago when a relative (by marriage - whew!  Glad it isn't hereditary!) informed me she suffered from it.   No dictionary definition, but, of course, there's a Wikipedia entry!

The dictionary lists a phobia as an extreme or irrational fear of something.  I think that is misleading and unjust.  There is nothing irrational about fearing the approval of others - we're wired that way.  And it could only be extreme if you ran screaming from a room instead of speaking.  I've never seen that.  The running, yes.  The screaming, maybe once.  But both, never!

Jerry Seinfeld made famous the idea that people fear speaking in public more than death.  It gets laughs.  But if it were true, you'd see people throwing themselves out of Boardroom windows to the street below rather than leading meetings, or stepping in front of a bus on purpose on the way to their conference presentation.  I've never been able to find ANY report of such occurrences.

But making light of the fear only masks the reality.  The number of people I've had tell me they experience NO anxiety when speaking in front of crowds (ever!) is slim to none.  It certainly doesn't describe me.  I had a huge opportunity last week - to host an event for over 400 with some major players in the audience and a huge financial stake on the line -- and I was glad I wasn't wearing a lapel mic, because I'm sure that it would have picked up my heart beat.  Fear is a reality that speakers, teachers, and leaders face.

So how do we face it?  Two classes of ideas on handling your fear.

First, the psychological.  I've consulted several clients & friends who have professional credentials in the psychology world, and they all say basically the same thing: self talk is huge.  Get the messages to your psyche to change, and your feelings will change.  This includes visualization, preparation, breathing better, and acknowledging the fear that exists.

But I'm not a psychologist.  Here's the psycho world of a speech coach.  The self talk I embrace is changing the focus from how you FEEL to how you PERFORM.  It sounds cruel, but as a speech coach, I couldn't care less how you feel about speaking (as your friend, I care VERY MUCH how you feel!).  I just want you to be GREAT.  And that's the key.  What does great look like?  Most people have no idea.  They equate success to "I finished!  And I didn't pass out!!  WOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!!

I set the bar much higher.  You finished.  And your audience liked what you had to say.  And they are then able to repeat it to others or take action on your talk.  Bonus points if they had a fantastic experience, thought you were great, and laughed/cried/tweeted as a result.  Did THE AUDIENCE have a great time?  If so, check your feelings at the door, because they really don't matter to the success of a speaker.

I think that's all that's really required - a focus on what GREAT looks like and being able to do it.  That's what we teach in our two-day intensive workshops - what skills do you need to execute on to be GREAT in any circumstance?  If, along the way, you feel good, that's fantastic!  But if not, you still look GREAT and perform EXCEPTIONALLY.

Some of you want the practical, and I suppose there is value in that.  So here is one tip to do and one tip to never do to help burn off the effects of glossophobia, even though I throw out the caveat that I believe this is misguided in its intent.

1. Get your body involved.  MOVE.  Get out from behind the lectern and burn some energy.  GESTURE with HUGE expression.  SMILE big and often.  This will burn off energy and make you look more confident.
2. Never.  Ever. Make mention of your nerves.  Just move on.  They'll more than likely never notice, never know, and thus never care.  If they do notice, they'll think all the more highly of you because you didn't need to draw their attention to it. 

Perhaps we need support groups for this spreading disease.  Or perhaps we just need people to be better speakers.  I've never met anyone who couldn't be a GREAT communicator.