Why trusting your instinct when speaking is not always best
Just a few days ago as we were planning to leave the house, a bird was flitting about my garage. As I tried to encourage him (her?) to exit the garage, I discovered something amazing about this particular brand of bird (which I confess I can only describe as "small").
Even though the garage door was wide open - and I soon made it TWO garage doors wide open - the bird would not fly out. He (she?) was clearly agitated. After just a short bit of me chasing him (her?) around with a broom, the bird (and I) was tired. He (she?) would land on any horizontal surface or support brace, only to become airborne again and fly to the limits of the room. I am not a bird whisperer, but he (she?) looked scared, exhausted, and clearly out of sorts. That's where I discovered something hard-wired in the bird's psyche (ornithologists, please chime in here).
It seems that when danger -- perceived or real (and I suppose a wild man waving a broom qualifies as a real threat) - occurs, the bird flies. Up. Never down. He (she?) would flap against the ceiling, against the shelves, and a few times, just a few feet from freedom, against the now horizontal garage door on the way to higher altitudes. In this case, a few feet of level horizontal flight yielded the freedom of the outdoors, but the bird would NOT fly anywhere but up. We ended up leaving, left the garage doors wide open, and the bird had departed - thankfully - on our return. Apparently without the stress of a broom-wielding person chasing him (her?), he (she?) was able to return to ground level for an exit.
It caused me to wonder what instincts we have that are harmful and keep us from achieving the very thing(s) we desire. I didn't have far to look to find some examples from the field of speaking.
In the world of parenting, children caught in an untruth, possible cornering of a bad position, or an outright lie will speak and try to explain themselves, when silence would be a much better tactic (don't ask how I know this!).
For speakers, the instinct to feature the things that cause them concern is an apparently strong pull that even well-seasoned professionals cannot suppress.
When the fear of speaking sets in, speakers clutch things-their notes, the lectern, a pen -- which causes the stress to increase, not decrease.
When clarity is elusive, speakers speed up and say more and more that is harder to understand, instead of pausing and finding their core message.
When pressed for time, speakers seem to naturally mention time even more, thus drawing attention to the very thing that is causing them trouble. (Refer back to this month's What NOT to say when referring to time.)
Apparently, instinct - also known as "do what comes naturally" - is NOT an asset when the stakes are high. It is at these points that TRAINING is most valuable. Training is the ability to do what is CORRECT, even in the face of something that is scary, difficult, unnatural, or downright contrary to what we feel or want.
When you find yourself facing a high-stakes situation (speaking or otherwise), trusting your instinct is a very dangerous thing to do. It could lead to you being trapped, confined, or even exhausted and on the verge of (figurative) death. Instead, seek out training that will give you the skills you need to overcome the tendencies and trends that are not helpful.