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Communication Matters Newsletter
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Hallow's Eve
We just passed through the Holiday known as Halloween, where people dress up and act crazy (never mind I saw Christmas decorations in Home Depot last week!). When I was young, this seemed to be a very children-focused "holiday," but adults seem to get in the swing of it just fine now. Even I dressed up as a Pirate ("Argggghhhh, matey!") this year.
The  night is mostly benign - at least in my neck of the woods. But there is cause for concern that good honest fun can get out of control. It seems when people put a mask on, they will do things they would never otherwise commit, and damage property, people, and reputations. I suppose there is some feeling that, "Since this isn't really me, I can do things that aren't like me!"
What does this have to do with public speaking? A lot!
One of the most significant issues any speaker has to make is the feeling and voices that tell him/her that the behaviors are not like them. Softspoken people will say they are shouting; composed people feel "crazy" when they use big gestures; everyone seems to feel that pauses last an eternity. The difference between what the speaker feels and what the audience experiences is a HUGE chasm. We call it
The Gap.
The problem with The Gap (and it's friend "The Voice") is that left unchecked, it can do serious damage. The Voice will say, "This isn't you. This isn't genuine." And to the speaker, that is true. But when we focus on what the AUDIENCE experiences, it usually doesn't matter. They don't know the real you - you may as well have a mask on for them. Their opinions are based almost entirely on what they see/observe. But THEIR experience and needs should trump however we feel.
For that matter, I felt like a complete dork in my pirate outfit (and I don't need any comments telling me that I'm correct!). But I did it for the memories, the kids (related and not), and the bucket of candy I stole from a kindergartner (my eye patch will keep him from recognizing me, I'm sure). Just kidding.
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What NOT to Say: To Be Perfectly Honest
The ubiquitous phrase "To be Perfectly Honest" and its variants seem to be everywhere. Take a peek to find out why audiences won't want to hear them. Tune in to learn What Not To Say.
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Click here to take a look at our other videos on What NOT to say.
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Eye Contact
Alumni of our programs will know that we teach and promote eye contact as the most important technique for changing a speaker's perception by the audience. But there are issues surrounding eye contact that must be addressed. We jokingly refer to it as "Creepy," and no one likes it when things get to that stage.
A friend forwarded this video, What's the Right Amount of Eye Contact (2:52 courtesy of DNews), about some (rather limited, unfortunately) research about how eye contact can detract from your message. While the possibility and research certainly exists, it is our experience that so few public speakers ever get to that stage, that the error is almost always in having TOO LITTLE eye contact, not too much.
Good eye contact is a skill that must be practiced. Almost no culture reinforces what works, and most speakers (and certainly any listening to The Voice) will find something other than audience members to look at when they speak.
Look at your audience - directly in the eyes - when you have something to say.
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| Calling Raleigh Speakers! | |
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| Upcoming Workshops | |
Nov. 4, 5 (Raleigh, NC)
Two days that will change your life! This highly interactive, hands-on workshop gives you the skills to face an audience and deliver content in a clear, concise, and compelling manner. Close that deal, give that career-changing presentation, or motivate your audience to action. Speak with confidence, power, and ease.
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| Upcoming Speaking Events |
Wake Christian Academy Broadcast Journalism Class
November 1
The Society for Technical Communication
January 16
Alan will speak at STC Carolina on the topic "Sound Like You Feel: Public Speaking with Passion."
If you need a speaker for your next corporate meeting or professional organization, contact us at info@millswyck.com. Check out our keynotes here.
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| Visit our Website | |
Find out more about our public workshops, corporate training, private coaching, and keynote speaking at www.millswyck.com.
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