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November 2013
The Institute Insider
Keeping you connected ~ Nurturing your professional growth
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Meet Our Faculty
 | Joan Kristall,
LCSW-C |
Joan earned her master's degree in social work from the University of Denver and received a certificate in trauma from the Institute for Advanced Psychotherapy Training and Education, Inc. Prior to moving to Israel, approximately two years ago, she was the Clinical Coordinator for the Shofar Coalition, a Baltimore collaborative community program for survivors of childhood trauma. She currently teaches at the Center for Foreign Studies and the Family Institute; co-facilitates a therapeutic recovery group for female survivors of sexual abuse; supervises therapists and maintains a private practice in Jerusalem and Efrat, Israel. Joan speaks internationally on the topic of traumatic loss.
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Join Joan on Monday, December 2, from 8:45 am to 4 pm when she presents
Releasing the Bonds of Shame: Restoring Dignity. This workshop will teach therapists to help clients recognize feelings of shame and identify its triggers. Clinicians will learn a variety of expressive modalities, first hand, such as art directives, movement and guided imagery.
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Message from Lisa Ferentz LCSW-C, DAPA
Founder and President
Dear Friends, We are well into our Fall semester and our workshops are continually attended by clinicians who are so creative, curious, bright, eager to share their knowledge and eager to learn more. It is such a pleasure to see the enthusiasm that participants bring to every training! These qualities connect to an open mind, an open heart and inherent confidence, along with a willingness to be vulnerable. This month's newsletter explores what happens when those qualities are not present in our clients, leaving them with feelings of guilt and deeper feelings of shame. Having just attended a day-long training on shame, I was struck by how pervasive this feeling can be and how crippling it is for those who struggle with it. There was a fascinating emphasis on men and shame, and that will be the specific focus of this issue. We will explore the triggers that are likely to evoke shame responses and what we can do, as mental health professionals, to help our male clients heal from a feeling that profoundly influences self-talk and behavioral choices. I am equally delighted to highlight the work of Joan Kristall, who will be coming from Israel in December to give us a full day training how to heal the bonds of shame.  Warmest Regards,
Lisa Ferentz
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 | All human beings are vulnerable to feeling shame, but this may be even more complicated
for men. |
Men and Shame
by Lisa Ferentz, LCSW-C, DAPA
Working with shame is one of the most important emotions to process in therapy. So many presenting problems have an additional underlying layer of shame and this is often why clients still struggle with issues even after they seem to be reconciled. As we address the issue, it's important to differentiate between guilt and shame. When clients feel guilt, they grapple with something they have done and feel remorse about it. They can often work through this by taking responsibility or doing something proactive. They can apologize or make amends in a variety of ways, and this allows them to achieve a satisfying degree of self-forgiveness and healing. However, feeling shame is not about what you've done, it's about who you believe you are as a person.
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 | | Not every man is as willing to sit down and share as Alexander Portnoy, the shameless hero of Philip Roth's book. Why is it hard for some men to go to therapy? |
Shame-o-Phobia: Why Men Fear Therapy
by David Wexler
June 4, 2010,
Psychotherapy Networker
Several years ago, I was on a family trip, sitting on a bench with my wife in a plaza in Paris. Loaded down with shopping bags, she asked me to grab her purse and carry it over to a new spot across the plaza. That's all. Yet even though I knew I was being stupid, I couldn't do it. The 15 seconds being seen carrying a purse were beyond my capacities as a card-carrying male. My wife looked at me like I was nuts and shook her head in disgust.
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Clinician Resources
(click on the links below for articles and video)
Publications
Article
- Men's Shame
Excellent summary of the key issues that evoke shame in men
Video
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Counseling and Self-Care Tips
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COUNSELING:
When working with male clients, both young and adult, keep in mind that underneath their presentation of anger or grief there are often unresolved feelings of shame. In many cases, their shame is rooted in the mistaken belief that because they are male, they should have been able to think, feel, or behave differently in situations that would normally evoke fear, helplessness, anxiety, or sadness. Take the time to assess for the presence of these negative, distorted, and gender-biased cognitions when you process the experiences that male clients bring in to therapy. You may be surprised to discover this deeper layer of shame as it pertains to the cultural, familial, and societal messages they got about "how males should behave in the world." When you can help them move beyond these unfair biases and show them how to access their most self-compassionate part, they can begin to normalize their responses as "human," rather than "male" or "female."
SELF-CARE:
When we are working with challenging clients who present with complex issues including an inability to trust, therapy will not be a linear process! There is always the possibility that internal struggles, inter-personal and environmental dysfunction will compromise clients' abilities to truly integrate what they are learning in therapy. There is the strong chance that these clients will remain "stuck" for long periods of time, relapse, or terminate prematurely. All of us can wistfully look back on these cases, coming up with alternative strategies in hindsight, regretting our clinical choices, and wondering about the long-term outcomes. Hopefully, we can use these experiences as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than using "bad outcomes" as "evidence" of our inadequacies, which will invariably lead us to a place of shame. Just as we teach clients to hold a sense of self-compassion for their mistakes, poor choices, bad outcomes, or disappointments, we, too, must be willing to look at our own work through the lens of self-compassion. It is our best antidote to shame and will keep us effective in our work.
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| Register Now for Fall Trainings |
 Register today for one or more of our fall trainings. Receive continuing education on a wide range of clinical topics including:
- Spirituality for Trauma Survivors & Movement Affect Regulation - learn more>
- Making Them Whole Through the Sum of Their Parts - learn more>
- Releasing the Bonds of Shame: Restoring Dignity - learn more>
- Enhancing Self-Care Through Sand, Symbol and Story -
learn more> - Using Ericksonian Hypnosis for Grounding, Containing and Self-Soothing - learn more>
- The Balancing Act of Dr. Melfi and Tony Soprano: Walking the Tightrope of Ethical Clinical Practice (Ethics CEU's) - learn more>
Our informative and experiential workshops provide clinicians with current theory, tools for assessment, evaluation and diagnosis, as well as strategies for creative and effective treatment.
November and December classes are filling up quickly. Click here for our calendar of trainings and register today! |
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Talk Radio With Lisa Ferentz
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Missed a previous episode of Lisa's talk-radio program Inspired Journeys?
Now you can listen to full recordings of each broadcast right on your computer.
Click here to listen to previous broadcasts on VoiceAmerica. Then click on "Episode Directory" and the month and program that you wish to listen to.
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| Save the Date - 2014 Psychotherapy Networker Symposium |
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Join over 3,000 therapists in Washington, DC to be inspired by the profession's latest developments, network with other dedicated practitioners, and immerse yourself in a meeting devoted to the spirit of creativity and discovery.
This year's workshops include a training by Lisa Ferentz on "Post-Traumatic Growth." Be sure to sign up when the schedule of workshops is released.
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The Institute for Advanced Psychotherapy Training and Education, Inc. is an approved sponsor of the Maryland Board of Social Work Examiners for continuing education credits for licensed social workers in Maryland. CEU approval for all trainings is also granted to Psychologists, LCPC's and MFT's. In addition, reciprocity has been granted for clinicians in Washington, D.C., Virginia, and West Virginia.
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