by Lisa Ferentz, LCSW-C, DAPA

As therapists, we should often remind ourselves how challenging it can be for clients to find the courage to share their deepest thoughts and feelings with us. So many clients come with a relationship template that associates closeness and connection with getting hurt in some way. This means their capacity to trust and to be their most authentic selves might be compromised before we even begin the work.  A client might also come into treatment with a prior therapy experience that was, at best, not gratifying, and at worst, exploitative or harmful in some way. This often means that the client already has preconceived notions and expectations about how therapy will play out with us.  Some clients come in to treatment thinking they want to change, and then discover that making the changes creates too much inter-personal conflict and dissonance in their lives, or requires way too much ongoing energy.   Some clients initially appear accommodating because it's a self-protective strategy learned in childhood, not because they actually agree with our advice or recommendations.  In those instances, the changes they make are not sustained. Sometimes, it's a significant other who is demanding the changes, so the client isn't actually the one who sees change as necessary. Some clients present with one issue that they want to work on, then uncover deeper issues that frighten or overwhelm them.  And of course, the timing of therapy as it relates to the larger context of what's going on emotionally and financially in a client's life, is important, too.