At some point in our lives, we may find that what we want and desire - whether it is a person, home, job, money, etc. - appears to be hidden behind a giant neon sign glaring the words "NOT AVAILABLE TO YOU".  This can be disheartening and discouraging even for the most evolved and enlightened of people. Getting "No" to whatever it is you desire can make you want it even more which can end up sending you in a downward spiral while you endlessly bang your head against that closed door.

 

It doesn't help that we live in a society where instant gratification comes easily.  This seems to only feed your inner (or outer) temper-tantrum (insert images of Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka screaming, "Daddy, I want it NOW!"). Alas, berating yourself with labels such as bratty, childish or immature isn't going to make you stop - nor will any bad egg chute.  This will only serve to cause you shame, which we should know by now doesn't work.  Far worse than berating yourself in this manner is buying into thoughts or beliefs that you aren't worthy or deserving, so don't go there either. 

 

So what CAN you do to feel better when faced with this closed door to your desire?  You make lemonade out of lemons.  That is, you get inventive by making the pluses in your life wash over the negative. 

 

First off, understand that this situation has absolutely nothing to do with you, your worthiness or your deservedness.  Nor is this closed door a punishment for something "bad" you've done in the past.  Instead, recognize that life actually is on your side if you simply allow it to be.  Once you are open to believing this, you can then feel better by discovering what the pluses are in your life.  You can do this by following these suggestions:

 

1. Let Go Of Resistance.  Even though you may not believe it yet, not getting what you want is a good thing.  The Universe has a better plan for you and is trying to bring you something better.  Whether the situation is being healed or you're being given something new entirely, this "something better" is working its way to you but you can't receive it if you are blocking change.  Be open to the change that is occurring for you by releasing your resistance to it.     
2. Let Go Of Your Perceptions. Choose to see this situation as a gift by letting go of your negative perceptions and projections of it.  If you're always seeing it as "bad", you're going to stop the flow of receiving altogether.  Trust that even if you can't yet see the gift in this situation, your choice and willingness to do so will eventually reveal that blessing in disguise.  You'll receive that "AHA" moment soon enough.     
3. Be Open To Abundance..  Notice where your mind takes you away from what you do have to focus on what you don't have.  When you follow the flow of your mind in this way, you cut yourself off from receiving the good in your life.  Whatever abundance is already present, even if is in another form than what you think you want, just say "Yes!" to continue receiving it.  You will find that not only will you feel better, but the flow of abundance will increase with your acceptance and gratitude.     
4. Commit To Being Happy.  This is probably the single most transforming advice I could ever share with you.  When you make this commitment, your happiness no longer depends upon getting what youwant or on getting anything else for that matter.  This commitment simply allows happiness to exist and opens many doors to goodness. This commitment, which I make every day, sets the tone of the day to experience love and joy in many unexpected ways.  When you make a commitment to being happy no matter what, prepare to be surprised at what life unfolds for you.

 

These suggestions will work to make you feel better as long as you choose the new attitude and outlook.  It's really up to you to decide.  When you get sick and tired enough of the headache you give yourself from the head-banging against that shut door, you will. 

Passage To Inner Joy