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November 20, 2014
News from the Alzheimer's Foundation of America

A Thanksgiving Story

Contributed by: Norman Crampton, Bloomington, Ind.

 

Like so many couples, Carol and Charlie expect to have people over on Thanksgiving Day for good food, good conversation, updates on people and times past.

 

Sometime after dinner they'll probably pull the family photo album off the shelf and gather around Carol as she leafs through the book and says a word or two about what she sees in faces and places that she used to know perfectly well.

 

And if Carol says some surprising things that have no connection to family reality-no problem, Charlie will have counseled their guests in advance. Just follow Carol's lead and have some fun inventing a story, he's said. The point is to keep Carol talking and engaged.

 

It was about this time almost a decade ago that Carol, nearly frantic, told Charlie she couldn't pull Thanksgiving together anymore. "I've got to look up a bunch of stuff-meals I've been doing for years!" she told her husband.

 

"Don't worry," he said, concerned. "We'll do it together!"

"When we became aware of Carol's intimate relationship, so to speak, with Alzheimer's, we decided to make an effort to care for each other," Charlie said in a recent conversation. He's a retired vascular surgeon, age 77, same as Carol. They live in a Midwest suburb.

Caring at home for a life-partner who has dementia may seem heroic but it's not exceptional. Most people with memory loss-three out of four, experts say-live at home, not in institutional care.

Becoming an effective caregiver at home can take a long time, Charlie has learned. To communicate, you try to live in the other person's world, and finding your way there may not be easy. Charlie recalled one very unhappy springtime walk, hand-in-hand with Carol.

"We stopped in front of a pretty garden and I said, 'Remember Uncle Bob, his garden, how pretty it was? What kind of flowers did he used to have?' And after several questions like that Carol just looked at me in anger and agitation."

 

She didn't say anything but Charlie could feel the tension in her hand. He was asking her to recall facts that had become maddeningly beyond her reach.

 

As Charlie has searched for ways to stay in touch with Carol, one resource he has found is story-telling technique developed at the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee and available online. Called TimeSlips, the program provides simple instructions about how to use photographs-random scenes-to prompt a conversation with a person with dementia.

 

Caring for a loved one with dementia "is really all about communication," says Anne Basting, a professor of theater at UWM and creator of TimeSlips. "If you can't get that right, then things are really tough for a long time."

 

Getting it right wasn't so hard, Charlie recalled. On later garden walks with Carol, "Instead of asking her a direct question, I would just say, 'Wow! Look at this!' and let her respond however she wanted, and she might say something like 'Yellow, warm,' and 'black dog,' pointing to a large black rock in the garden."

 

Prof. Basting interprets: "You're allowing a person to express through metaphor rather than necessarily fact." And if the right word is beyond reach, "you can choose whatever option and feel confident about it," she says. The point is to keep talking and, for a while more, break through the silence of slipping into dementia.

 

Carol and Charlie continue to communicate "with very little anxiety, certainly not on her part," he says. "As we've moved into a less and less verbal form of communication I've begun to slowly realize the qualities of a good care partner. First, I had to learn how to be fully present, to be there, to be still and listen."

 

He has learned to listen visually, watching Carol's eyes and her facial expressions, her movements. Holding her hand he can measure her tension.

 

"So Thanksgiving will be at our house again this year, and we'll all work very hard to do it her way and be sure that she feels she's an important part of the process," Charlie said.

 

Deep-fried turkey won't be on the menu, however. Charlie says he's tried for years to get Carol to agree to deep-fried turkey, "but I still can't get a positive response no matter what I do."

 

 

 

This Holiday Season 'Remember Together'

Create and Share Photos to Raise Awareness of Memory Screenings

 

AFA's Remember Together Campaign is in full effect. To date, more than 200 people have recreated photos of their favorite memories. 


 

Family gatherings at the holidays set the perfect stage to recreate cherished family photos. It's easy to do:  simply choose an old photo to recreate, accessorize, strike the same pose, and snap away!

 

The holidays are also a time when many people first notice changes in loved ones' behavior. Family and friends visit from near and far and being together, sometimes for the first time in a while, can shed light on memory and thinking problems that may have gone unnoticed through telephone and e-mail conversations.

 

We urge you to speak with loved ones about memory concerns and if you notice changes, encourage them to get a free, confidential memory screening

 

These non-invasive evaluations are a first-step in identifying memory issues and can put a person on the path to proper treatment. Think of it as any other routine health check-up.

 

And, of course, if you need help navigating the changes in a loved one's behavior due to memory issues, please do not hesitate to contact our social services team at 866-232-8484 or [email protected].

News to Use

Toolkit Raises Awareness of Clinical Trials

The National Institute on Aging (NIA), the Administration for Community Living (ACL), and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have released a toolkit, entitled, "Recruiting Older Americans into Research (ROAR)" to help aging services networks share information about research and clinical trials with older adults and caregivers-including those with diverse ethnic and racial backgrounds. The toolkit can be found  here

News Update

Complex Work Environments May Help Protect Memory and Thinking in Later Life

People whose jobs require more complex interactions with other people, such as social workers and lawyers, or with data, like architects or graphic designers, may end up having longer-lasting memory and thinking abilities compared to people who do less complex work, such as painters, factory workers or food servers, according to a new study.

 

The study tested the memory, processing speed and general thinking abilities of 1,066 Scottish people with an average age of 70. Researchers also gathered information about the jobs participants held. The job titles were assigned scores for the complexity of work with people, data and things. For example, complex jobs might involve coordinating or synthesizing data, while less complex jobs might involve copying or comparing data. Read more

Give While You Shop

Check Off Your Gift List Items at Amazon Smile


Next weekend marks the official start of the holiday shopping season. Stores are already decked out and offering deals a-plenty to lure shoppers. But, did you know that there's an easy way to give back, while still checking items off your gift list?

 

AFA has teamed up with Amazon Smile to make giving even easier this holiday season. Amazon Smile offers the same convenience, quality and price as Amazon.com, with one major difference. The company will donate .5 percent of eligible purchases to AFA, at no cost to you.

 

 


Fundraiser Spotlight

Get Ready For Giving Tuesday

Now that November is upon us, the hustle and bustle of the holiday shopping season has begun. And, while many may be taking advantage of deals galore on Black Friday and Cyber Monday, what they may not know is that there is a designated day, during the holiday season, in which to give back.

 

This year, Giving Tuesday falls on December 2. There are a number of ways to give:

 

  • Support our Thunderclap campaign, by signing up to share our Giving Tuesday message with your Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr followers. It just takes one click and does not cost you a cent.
  • Volunteer your time! Consider reaching out to one of our member organizations in your local community. Click here to search by state.
  • Donate. If you have the resources, Giving Tuesday is a great time to make a tax-deductible year-end gift. Such gifts will go to fund things like respite care grants for our member organizations. These grants fund scholarships for adult day programs, which provide vital social engagement for people with Alzheimer's disease and a much-needed time-out to caregivers. 

care ADvantage

Fall 2014/Winter 2015

 

The latest issue of care ADvantage magazine is out. It's full of helpful information, including an article on how to help prevent lethal violence in the home. 

 

Read it online here, or subscribe to begin receiving it. 


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