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June 1, 2014   

Attention Talk News 


In This Issue . . . 


How does ADD CrusherTM Alan Brown use telling lies as an important strategy in actively managing ADHD mayhem? What do you do when you catch yourself telling a little white lie? Do you believe the lie?  In our featured article, "Lies ADHD Adults Tell and Really Believe," Alan exposes the "lies" and what they really mean.  


On Attention Talk Radio, be sure to check out these recent shows:


David Giwerc and Jeff Copper see the ability to pause as the most powerful skill an ADDer can learn. Would you agree? Listen to the show, titled "ADHD: The Power of the Pause."


ADHD divorce rates in the early years mirror those of the general population; the longer the relationship, the greater the probability of those with ADHD getting a divorce. Why do you think that is?  Learn more in our show, "The Couples' Guide to Thriving with ADHD."


Love him or leave him, but Tom Nardone is quite outspoken about ADHD. So what does he say about those who blame everything on ADHD when it is not always the case? Find out in our show, titled "ADHD: You Can't Blame Everything on ADHD."


And don't miss our recent interviews on Attention Talk Video:


Can you build rituals and habits to help you pause? Get the answer and learn more from ADD Crusher™ Alan Brown in our video interview with him, titled "ADHD Tip: Pausing - A Higher Form of Consciousness." 

Do your communications rage out of control?  Find out how to manage them from Melissa Orlov in our video interview with her, titled "ADHD Relationship Tips: Structured Conversations." 

What is boredom? Get the answer and learn more from Dr. Ari Tuckman in our video interview with him, titled "Attention Deficit Disorder and Boredom."

Want to know how coaching can work for those with ADHD?  Learn more by watching Edge Foundation's latest release, "ADHD Coaching Works," in our video section below.

If you haven't done it yet, download our new aBook (the "a" is for attention), "Identify YOUR Top Five Hurdles to Managing ADD/ADHD."  It has tips Jeff has learned from doing over 300 interviews with ADHD experts.

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Lies ADHD Adults Tell and Really Believe


OK, that's not a very polite way to open a Crusher blog -- calling ourselves liars. But we're all liars, including me. 
I co-hosted a great ADDA Webinar recently with the brilliant Eric Tivers, who laid out what he calls "Top Lies People with ADHD Tell Themselves...and Really Believe." Whoppers such as... 
"I'll remember that."  
"I'll do it later."
"I'll be done in five minutes."
"I'm just going to check my email."
"I'll just do one more." 
Now, these seem like fairly innocuous lies (not on a par with, say, "Oh no, I won't invade your country," or ,"Ya, I'm next in line for the Dalai Lama job."). But you don't need to be a board certified psychiatrist to know what kind of trouble and overwhelm can result from buying into these lies. 
Eric's talk reminded me of a strategy I hatched a ways back but that didn't make it into the ADD Crusher™ videos, or even a blog, 'til now. It's a "brain hack" I call, Know What You Know and then KNOW It, and it gets right at the heart of upending these lies we tell ourselves. Here goes: 
We ADHD adults know deep down such little lies aren't true. ("I know I WON'T do just one more, but I don't care cuz I'm having fun hyperfocusing.") We also know a bit deeper down the kind of mayhem believing these lies creates ("My husband's gonna be p.o.'d if I'm late again"). But we don't KNOW something truly until we act according to that knowledge. To "know" is one thing. To DO RIGHT (i.e., take action) is to really KNOW. 
Once you adopt and adhere to the above assumptions, you can begin to put this powerful strategy to work for you. For instance, given this classic internal dialogue... 
"I'm just gonna check a few more emails before I leave for my daughter's play..." [Lie #1 - Deep down you KNOW you're in the middle of a nice comfy hyper-focus session]. 
"...Besides, it'll only take me a minute to get ready..." [Lie #2 - You've never timed your getting-ready. You're just smooth-talking yourself to gain permission for continued hyper-focusing.].
"...and probably only 15 minutes to get there." [Lie #3 - If you think about it, 15 minutes is the least it's ever taken you to get there - you're engaged in wishful ADHD-time-warp thinking.].
And overall, you know deeper down that this same or similar situation has resulted in you being late to this, that or the other thing many times before. Now, the pivotal question before you is whether you will choose to KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW, and then KNOW IT - by getting out of that chair and heading off to your daughter's play with a shot at actually being early. Think of how good that will feel! That's the power of knowing what you know and knowing it. 
So next time you catch yourself in one of these little lies, ask yourself: Don't I KNOW this is really BS? Don't I KNOW nothing good will come from ignoring this knowledge? And do I KNOW the power of DOING the right thing instead of believing the lie?



Copyright  2014. ADD CrusherTM. All rights reserved.
Published with permission.
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Listen to Recent Radio Shows in Our Archives

Watch, listen, or read any advertisement or weight loss program and you'll hear about the need for regular exercise as a part of the program in the background. Watch, listen, or read tips on managing ADHD and many will directly state or imply the need to PAUSE. In this episode of Attention Talk Radio, we interview Master Certified ADHD Coach (MCAC) David Giwerc, founder and president of the ADD Coach Academy. In our interview, we discuss the power of the pause, what it means to ponder and objectively respond to a situation rather than react with established, negative patterns of behavior. You will discover how the "Power of the Pause" can provide you with choices that can significantly improve the quality of your life. If you struggle to effectively manage your ADHD, this is a show you won't want to miss. 

"A book destined to save marriages in trouble and awaken those in repose," says Edward M. Hallowell M.D. about the new book by Melissa Orlov and Nancie Kohlenderger, titled "The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD."  And that about says it all!  In this episode of Attention Talk Radio, we interview co-author Melissa Orlov on her exciting new book, her experience working with couples, and the hope it brings.  If you are in an ADHD relationship, this is a show you won't want to miss.  

Tom Nardone has ADHD and is outspoken about it. Love him or leave him, but he makes some very good points. In this episode host and attention coach Jeff Copper interviews Tom around how everything can't be blamed on ADHD. Very often, those without ADHD catastrophize everything and blame it on the one with ADHD. If anything goes wrong, they say it's because of the ADHD... which isn't always the case. If you have ADHD and you seem to get blamed for everything, don't miss this show.


Be sure to visit the Attention Talk News website  


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ADHD Coaching Works
Edge Foundation is a loyal supporter of Attention Talk Network. Recently they released an excellent video about coaching with lots of great comments and testimonials from individuals coached by Edge Foundation coaches.  We encourage you to check it out! Coaching can be powerful for many in need. If you see someone struggling with ADHD, forward this video and let them know help is out there in the form of coaching.
ADHD Coaching works

ADHD Relationship Tips: Structured Conversations

Are you in an attention deficit disorder relationship? Do your communications rage out of control? Are they emotional? Could structured conversation help to take the emotions out of the conversation? Find out in our interview with Melissa Orlov, relationship consultant.

ADHD Relationship Tips: Structured Conversations

Attention Deficit Disorder and Boredom

As Dr. Russell Barkley says, ADHD is not a disorder of knowing what to do. It is a disorder of doing what you know.  Join us as we interview Dr. Ari Tuckman ( around this concept and its impact on those with ADHD.


ADHD Tip: Pausing - A Higher Form of Consciousness

Those with ADHD are impulsive!  What are we to do?  How do we manage it? Just pause; right?  But if it were that easy, it would have worked by now; right? Maybe we should consider building habits to pause. Watch our interview with ADD Crusher™ Alan Brown, hear his thoughts, and get tips on how to build pause into your routine and manage impulsivity.

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Copyright 2014 Attention Talk News, Tampa, FL, USA.  All rights reserved. 

Editor's Note

Jeff Copper, Editor

Our intention is to share audio, video, and printed content to capture your interest and perhaps inspire you to pay attention to something differently. Enjoy.

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