Well it seems I was "somewhat" in error.

There "were" actually 18 unemployed individuals still seeking employment in this area who showed up in response to our ads in 2 newspapers over the last 3 months.

Out of those 18 we hired 13 that appeared to at least be able to physically function in life without assistance or didn't want $16.00 per hour to start because they would be taking a loss from their last job....
that they quit!....HUH???

Out of those 13.... ten have decided to re-enter the ranks of the unemployed.

Here is their breakdown!

3 quit after 2-3 weeks for various "personal" reasons. Guess they realized that one must actually work when you have a job.

1 quit after 1 day.

1 quit after 2 days ( God Bless his tenacity ).

1 was hired and told prior to being hired that his job would be to mow and weed eat. He quit after 4 days because he didn't like to occasionally run a weed eater. He was more of your sit on the riding mower kinda guy.

1 decided that starting work at 8 am (like everyone else) actually meant
8:45 the first day of employment and 9:45 the second day of employment. Looked for him the 3rd day around 10:45 but.....hmmm

1 quit after 6 days because he was too tired to get out of bed and come to work.

Oh, and then of course there are the other 2 that make up the ten.
Neither of them showed up at all for their first day of work!

So, if you are looking for help I can give you the names of the10 people who are still unemployed.



While I'm on the subject....
Here are a few things I think every new job applicant should know if they want to be hired.


1. Always bring your 3 screaming and/or crying children to your job interview. It impresses your potential new employer and shows him or her that you are definitely a family oriented individual.

2. When you want to get your potential future employer's attention it is best if you refer to him as "HEY YOU"!

3. Always have a wad of chewing tobacco in your mouth. He will not be upset because he can see that you are carrying a half full spit bottle with you.

4. When asked a question by your potential new employer remember to respond to every question with either "Well, it's like this pal" or I'll tell ya buddy". These are two very impressive ways to initiate your response.

5. Make sure that you display ALL of your tattoos when you go for an interview. Very short shorts and sleeveless shirts and sandals are a definite must. It lets your potential new employer know that you are a creative and colorful type individual who can withstand a lot of pain. It would be even better if your shirt was well worn and had many large holes in it.

6. When asked if you are married please make sure that you elaborate on this question and not just answer yes or no. Your potential new employer has very little else to do during his or her day and would love nothing better than to hear about why you were divorced. Make sure you tell every possible detail including why your ex-wife got a restraining order against you. This will help to develop a good rapport  with him or her when you are hired.

7. Make sure that you eat just before entering your interview and smile continually. Having a great deal of food stuck between your teeth and on your clothing lets your potential new employer know you are a very healthy individual who enjoys good food.

8. Absolutely make sure that when you shake hands with your potential new employer that your hands are very wet and that you do not actually grip his hand in response. It is always best to leave your hand very, very limp so he doesn't think you are too aggressive.

9. And finally. When you are hired for a full time 40-50 hour per week job make sure you tell your now new employer after 2 weeks that you must take off at 2:30 every Wednesday and Friday because you need to coach your 3rd cousin's son's nephew's T-Ball team. It will not be a problem because he will understand that you like to donate your time to helping others and it also will give him the opportunity to hire someone else who needs a part time job.




You know....You just gotta love the mentality of the "new" American worker....circa 2014.