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You don't spend more than three decades in public ministry without forming some strong opinions on proper etiquette (what's acceptable and what's not), both for yourself, and for your listening audience. Anyone who has earned the privilege and honor of speaking publicly deserves respect. That is common sense. Of course, many of today's
socially accepted cultural practices often go against the value of what was considered common sense just a few short years ago. In my ever-so-humble cowgirl opinion, the cell phone is often the culprit behind the madness, and the habitual "can't live without it" cell phone user is the one who is often the most disrespectful when it comes to exhibiting poor manners, or lack of common sense. Let me explain with a short, true story.
My husband, Kim, is a gifted minister. He is an in-demand speaker who travels thousands of miles each year as a Bible teacher and evangelist. If you've ever had the opportunity to hear Kim minister in person, then you are aware of the special gift he has, not only to share the gospel, but to make it relevant and "come alive" for today's audience. Suffice to say, there is never a cultural or age divide, nor a lack of attentiveness in his meetings. Every eye, young and old, is glued to Kim as he stirs their imagination, and brings to life the rich and colorful stories of the Bible. That is, every eye with the exception of a few - those who are obsessed with their cell phones! Again, let me explain.
A few weeks ago, and smack-dab in the middle of Kim's ministry service, a woman's cell phone rang (yes, loudly). In an instant, every eye turned towards the woman, and everyone was distracted. Their attention was immediately transfixed from the subject being taught to the intrusive and shrill ringing of the cell phone. Kim paused for a moment, fully expecting the woman to apologize for not having turned her cell phone ringer down before service. After all, stuff happens, right? Instead, the woman answered her phone and began to carry on a conversation with the person on the other end!
For what seemed like an eternity, everyone just sat there silently as they listened to the woman's conversation. Finally, Kim looked at the Pastor to gauge his response. There was none. The Pastor simply bowed his head in embarrassment, obviously relinquishing his leadership role in the process. Kim straightened his tie, cleared his throat, and looked at the Pastor again. Still, no response. No one noticed as Kim stepped down from the pulpit and quietly walked up to the woman. Perhaps not intentional, but in it's truest form, this woman's behavior was disrespectful. Later, Kim shared with me why it was the last straw for him, and why he decided to take matters in his own hand.
It certainly wasn't the first time something like this had happened. In fact, it seemed like cell phones were ringing, and happy fingers were texting in church more than ever. So, what does one do in a circumstance like that, especially when that someone is a guest speaker, and no one else seems to be able or willing to exercise authority over such blatant and intrusive disrespect? If you're a leader, then you do what my husband chose to do. Kim stepped down from the pulpit, took the woman's cell phone, turned it off, handed it politely back to her, and then walked back to the pulpit. No doubt, it was a bold move. No one dared to look around, and every eye was glued to my husband as he continued to minister the Word, never skipping a beat. I don't know what Kim taught on that day, but I would dare say, the real message that day could have been titled, "Respect 101"! Now, having said that, and before we go any deeper, let's look at an animal who could teach us all a thing or two about respect.
"R-E-S-P-E-C-T"
As Aretha Once Said,
Find Out What
It Means To Me
In the world of horse training where respect
is the name of the game - two eyes are
always better than two heels!
There's a saying in the horse training world that goes something like this, "Two eyes are always better than two heels." It makes perfect sense. With horses, respect is the name of the game. Either you have a horse's respect, or you don't. There are no shades of gray, or any in-betweens. Even beginners to horsemanship are acutely aware of whether or not they have a horse's respect. How do they know? The horse tells them clearly and concisely with his body language. When a horse gives you two eyes, or in other words, when he is giving you his undivided attention (he is looking at you and not at someone or something else), then that is a sign of respect. Likewise, when a horse turns his rump to you, and especially if he shows you his two heels (back hoofs) instead of his two eyes, then that is a clear sign of disrespect - a sign that no one dare misread or miscalculate, lest they incur the consequences!
Unlike humans, horses don't have the mental capacity nor the ability to lie with their actions. Horses do what they mean and they mean what they do! Think about that for a moment. Their body language is their primary and most efficient way to communicate, not only with other horses and animals, but with humans, too. In the world of the prey animal, a world where there is no room for a misunderstood actions, the horse knows that he has one chance to display his intentions correctly. And over the countless thousands of years that the horse has been in existence, he has perfected the art of body language down to a science that even the most novice and unexperienced of horsemen can easily see and understand.
If a horse is willing to give you two eyes and be engaged with you by looking directly at you, then you have his respect. On the other hand, if a horse is preoccupied, and his eyes are on his herd-mates, or somewhere (anywhere) else other than you, then it is a sure-fire sign of disrespect. And make no mistake about it, when a 1200 pound animal disrespects you - you, my friend, are on the wrong end of the deal!
Are You On
THE WRONG END
OF THE DEAL?
You won't find me willing to be on the wrong end
of a horse, but Samson is an exception to the rule.
He's a graduate of my "do right" school where
I made sure he was taught "Respect 101"!
Anytime I purchase a horse, I immediately enroll him in my "do right" school where he is taught, not only the rules of engagement, but what is acceptable behavior, and what is not. And I make the number one rule easy for my horse to figure out. And what is the number one rule? The number one rule is that he shows me respect at all times. Do I expect a new horse to respect me simply because I have entered his space or asked him to? The answer is no. I have to demand his respect in order to eventually earn it. When I work with a new horse for the first time, I have a silent conversation with him that only he can hear. As I move his feet forwards, backwards, left, and right, the conversation goes something like this, ...
"Do you respect me right now? Perhaps you're not sure. In time I will earn your respect, but for now I demand it!"
Of course, it's doubtful the horse understands the meaning of my words, but he unmistakably understands what my body language is telling him. My body language is telling him that I am the leader, and not him. And as the leader, I demand respect. Will he accept that? He certainly accepts those rules of engagement when he is with his herd mates, but what about with me? The answer is evident in his response. Does he move his feet when I ask him to move, and does he turn and face me when I ask him to stop and give me two eyes (his undivided attention)? Or does he quickly turn and look the other direction while showing me his backside, or in other words, his two heels? Let's face it - respect is a critical factor whether it's with horses, or with people. Without it, we might as well pack up our saddle, and go home. Not sure how your horse sees you? Just like with people, a horse will not leave you scratching your head and wondering whether or not he (or she) respects you in the morning! The truth about respect can always be found in one's actions, and actions will always speak louder than words.
RESPECT THOSE WHO WORK
HARD AMONG YOU
"Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other."
(1 Thessalonians 5: 12 - 13, NIV)
Horses don't respect us because of what we say.
Horses respect us because of what we do. If we
are a good leader and display the strengths that
are necessary for that position, then they naturally assign us a rank of high regard within the herd hierarchy. Ahhh, if it were just that easy with
people!
Call me old-fashioned or even old-school, but if I find any fault with the hip and culturally current ministries out there today, it is that some who have been called to be pastors have willingly relegated their important role of leadership, and the respect that should go along with that calling and position, to that of the sheep! In fact, in some extreme cases, there has been such a dumbing down of pastoral leadership and respect for that position, that it's hard to discern the shepherd from the sheep!
So, what should a true shepherd say or do in such a tricky situation where, perhaps, some of the sheep are trying to steal the Pastor's position of leadership? Probably the same thing I heard a well-known and highly respected horse clinician tell a student who obviously thought he was an expert on all things "horse", and who clearly wanted to usurp the leader's position of authority. He said, "I'm sure you're smarter than I think you are, but you're not nearly as smart as you think you are!" With that, the clinician turned his attention back to the students who had come to learn from him, admonished them to give him two eyes (their full attention), and he continued with his lesson in horsemanship. As I'm sure Barney of Mayberry would have said, "Well, that pretty much nips it in the bud, don't it?" As for those of us who are called to ministry, we can only hope so!
The Bible teaches that we are to respect those people who are over us in the Lord, those who work hard amongst us, and yes, even those who admonish us when we need it - even if it means taking our cell phone and turning it off! And, as the Bible teaches, we should hold these people in the highest regard because of their work. Finally, for folks like me, the world of horses remains an amazing place where many of life's greatest lessons are taught swiftly, and yet, with undeniable accuracy. Remember, two eyes are a sign of respect. And two eyes are always better than two heels!
CHECK US OUT ON
YOUTUBE!
Click the video above for our newest YouTube Video with my equine ministry partner, Samson (pics and video from earlier this year). This video features the amazing vocals of my dear friend and minister, Ann Nicholson. Years ago, and before giving her life to Christ, Ann was a back-up vocalist for many secular artists, including Joe Cocker, and Leon Russell. In 2014, Ann recorded Leon's hit song, "A Song For You", especially for my birthday. Her amazing and soulful rendition of this song will bless you!
Want to take a ride on a champion western pleasure horse? Now, you can - thanks to Samson, and a GoPro Camera that puts you right in the saddle with me! Don't forget to check out my grandson, Zach, making a cameo appearance in the video. What a great sport he was to let Nana chase him around the arena that day! And special thanks once again to Tom and Ann Nicholson for their amazing musical talent. Together, they produced this video song titled "The Stranger" performed by the Praise Team, Church Alive, Cleveland, TN, and featured on the CD titled "Combustible Praise". Oh yeah, it also features the best guitarist in the world, my husband, Kim Klaudt, doing what he does best - playing that sanctified blues! You can check him out on YouTube, too!
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