Lose Your 

ANXIETY

And Find True

PEACE

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?"

(Matthew 6: 25, NIV)

There is only one way that leads to peace of mind. That "way" is found in Jesus Christ.

In 2011,  my life took an unexpected and radical turn. Up until that year, I had never experienced a serious illness of any kind, and I had enjoyed many years of good health, and vibrant energy. Sickness? I never gave it a thought. And then suddenly, everything changed. One day in the middle of late winter, I was busy exercising one of my horses in the training pen. Seemingly out of nowhere, I felt light-headed, and my stomach quickly became nauseated. I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, and tried to ignore what I hoped was nothing more than a momentary interruption to my day. A few minutes later, the strange feelings increased with a vengeance, and my knees buckled beneath me. Thankfully, my husband was near and recognized that I was in distress, and quickly dialed 911. The next thing I knew, I was in the back of a speeding ambulance being whisked away to the nearest hospital. With an oxygen mask strapped to my face, and needles being inserted into my arms, I looked around the small space of the ambulance that I now occupied with total strangers who were working feverishly on me, and I wondered to myself, "How did I end up here?"

Later, the words of the cardiologist would be sobering. "You have left ventricular hypertrophy." The expression on his face never changed as he told me the results of the echocardiogram. I listened closely, albeit somewhat in disbelief, as he described how the septum wall of my heart had abnormally thickened, - a process that generally happens over a period of time. "But how could that be possible?" I questioned. I had always tried to eat healthy and exercise, so how could I have developed heart disease? In fact, I was a real stickler about diet and staying active. My reasons were simple. I wanted to be healthy enough to still ride horses in my old age instead of riding in wheelchairs! Having said that, my doctor's words shocked me. "Your heart condition has nothing to do with whether or not you eat a piece of 3 layer chocolate cake at midnight, or neglect to exercise for a week." He went on to tell me that LVH (left ventricular hypertrophy) is usually caused from untreated hypertension, which in turn is usually related to or "triggered by stress and anxiety." Wow, now he had my attention. I didn't know whether to rejoice at the fact that I could now have a piece of chocolate cake without guilt, or cry because I had just discovered I had an enemy that was more dangerous than I realized. And worse yet, I had been entertaining that enemy for a long, long time.  

COMING FACE TO FACE

WITH AN ENEMY NAMED

ANXIETY

Dangerous or destructive behavior in horses is a "symptom of a cause", and the cause is almost always anxiety. 

 I'm happy to share with you that since that scary diagnosis in 2011, each year my follow-up echocardiogram tests show that my heart's septum wall is significantly reducing in size, and is now almost back to normal. No doubt, that is a true miracle and God continues to heal me day by day. Having said that, couldn't God have healed me instantly? Of course He could have. But then again, if God had chosen to heal me instantly, I would have missed out on one of the most incredible journeys of my life, - a journey that led me on a path to complete liberation.

Every journey begins with a first step. My first step towards healing began with an acknowledgement. I had to acknowledge that I had an enemy, and this enemy had been working diligently and overtime "behind the scenes" in my life for many years. The second step was to identify and name my enemy. I quickly realized that my enemy had a dual nature that was evident in his name. My enemy's name was Stress and Anxiety, and his mode of operation was complex. Rarely did he reveal his true self. Instead, he hid behind thinly veiled "do-good masks", - masks like micro-management, and even perfectionism. The third step of my journey required me to acknowledge (own it) and confess my responsibility in having opened the door and allowed this enemy the freedom to enter my life in the first place. At last, my journey was well underway. 

MICRO-MANAGEMENT 

Is The Pre-Cursor To

 Full-Blown

ANXIETY

Webster's definition of micro-management: to manage with excessive control or attention to details.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

(1 Peter 5: 6-7) 

As a former and now completely delivered micro-manager, I've learned that it is my responsibility to give my horse clear direction, but his feet are his responsibility. Because we both understand our responsibilities, we have a stronger relationship, and no anxiety.

 Where there is micro-management, there is no trust. Re-read that again and let it sink in, and then let me explain. Have you ever been around someone who tries to micro-manage and control other's lives? It's a painful thing to be on the receiving end of a micro-manager, but even more painful for the one doing the micro-managing. How do I know that? I know that because I am a former and now completely delivered micro-manager! So, why is it important that we address the subject of micro-management here? It's important because micro-management is the pre-cursor to full blown anxiety. Are you a micro-manager? If you are, then be warned. You have opened the door "wide open" to the enemy. 

Think you know a micro-manager? Worse yet, could you be one? Let's briefly  talk about the symptoms of a micro-manager. One of the first symptoms is a noticeable lack of trust, not in one's self, but in the ability of others. Micro-managers don't see themselves as controlling, rather, they see themselves as helpers who genuinely want to help the people in their life. Oftentimes, micro-managers attempt to "guide" others in a sincere effort to help spare them the experience of learning lessons on their own, or the hard way. This is usually the type of micro-management you see in overly protective or overly-controlling parents, or spouses. And almost always, it backfires. Why? Because the micro-manager unwittingly robs others of life-experiences that may be painful, but beneficial to their growth. Of course, other times, a micro-manager's intent is less innocent. Because micro-managers are usually people who have an innate ability to think "quick on their feet", and tend to have "thought up" a workable solution before others even recognize there's a problem, they (the micro-managers) slowly but surely take on the role of the "fixer". Because of this tendency to want to "fix" things in other people's lives, - fixers often attract people to themselves who actually do need "fixing" continually! Sounds crazy, I know. But even crazier is the fact that most micro-managers are unaware they have a "fixer problem". Here's the ugly truth. If you feel you must "fix" people and solve all their problems, then the enemy is already at your door, and the trap has been set. 

PERFECTIONISM

Is A Thief, And It Robs Us

Of God's Gift Of Grace

'But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.'

(2 Corinthians 12: 9, NIV)

When I used to show my horse in western pleasure, "perfection in front of the judges" was always the name of the game. Today, I'm no longer a slave to perfection. The result? Freedom for me, and my horse, and the enjoyment of the ride!   

When I was a little girl, I was the queen of "do-overs". Allow me to explain. Conversations at our house went something like this. "Daddy, come watch me ride my bike up this hill!" My dad would then give me his undivided attention as my skinny legs worked extra hard to peddle the bike up the steep hill. Finally, having reached the summit, I would turn and look back at my dad with a big smile and ask, "How was that?" As if right on cue, dad would clap his hands like he was applauding a Gold Olympian, and tell me what a great job I did getting up that big hill. My response was always the same. "No, it wasn't great, daddy. You're just saying that. I want to do it over again." And up the hill I'd go again, and again, and again. 

 If micro-management is a pre-cursor to full-blown anxiety, then perfectionism is micro-management's ugly twin. Where one is, you'll usually find the other. The truth is, perfectionism is a thief, and an enemy. And just like any thief, it comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. So, what does perfectionism steal from you and me? Perfectionism steals our ability to receive God's full and unmerited favor and grace. The Bible says that Christ's work on the cross is complete. In other words, there is nothing left that remains undone. The Bible also says that God's grace is completely sufficient for you and me in any situation. For the perfectionist, this truth should be liberating. Why? Because there is nothing more that one needs to do in order to be fully accepted and loved by God. His work at Calvary, and His work in us, is complete.

  Peace Comes When You

Know That...

 GOD'S GOT THIS!

"Cast all your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall."

(Psalm 55: 22)  

Horses are instinctual prey animals, and are mentally-wired to be on the look-out for trouble or danger in their environment. However, when a horse fully trusts his Master, he is at complete peace within himself. So, did his environment change? Nope, he changed.  

   Horses aren't born with an inherent quality of peace about them, and neither are we. Although we're not prey animals like horses, we still have to learn how to trust the Master (God). Trust can be a sporadic thing for some, especially if they don't understand what the Master is doing. Trust, by it's very nature, is black and white. Trust never straddles the fence. In other words, we either trust, or we don't. Have you ever heard someone say, "I'm not sure if I trust that person, or not."  What they are really saying is, "I don't trust that person at all!"  It works the same way when it comes to trusting God. We either do, or we don't. If we don't trust God, then our journey is hi-jacked, or aborted. But if we are willing to trust God completely, then victory is guaranteed. Today, you may be dealing with a problem that you feel is simply too great to overcome. I want  to tell you that there is nothing too difficult for God, - no problem that He cannot solve, - no sickness that He cannot heal. It doesn't matter whether it is heart disease, cancer, a broken relationship, or any other seemingly insurmountable problem that you face. You can trust God with your life. And best of all, you can trust Him with the journey to complete victory. Why? God's got this!

Natural Horse

Faith-Man-Ship

(Teaching biblical faith using horses)

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