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Me and my protective dad in the 50's
Dear Dad,
Somehow, I hope this newsletter reaches you in heaven. Over the years, I've often pondered the question, "What is a father?" I suppose there are many answers depending on the son or daughter you ask. Although you passed away when I was only 17 years old, I knew your heart, and I knew who you had been during my life. I knew that you loved me, and you loved my brothers, and you loved your family. I first realized that life can be unfair when I was just 5 years old, and I watched as you suffered from a traumatic injury at work that left you changed, and often in pain. Eventually, I watched the effects of that traumatic injury take your life prematurely. When you died, I wanted to die, too. But then, who would keep your memory alive? Who, if not your children, would remember all the wonderful things about you?
Although illness often made you feel weak, you were always a strong man in my eyes, albeit it with one chink in your armor. I was your weakness, and I knew it. I have a confession to make. As a little girl, I often used that knowledge to my advantage. But then, from your vantage point in heaven, you know that now, don't you?
Daddy, you were always a passionate man with no shades of gray. And you were always black and white when it came to right and wrong. That used to scare some people about you. But it didn't scare me. I respected that about you. Even your hard-headedness was often a plus in my eyes. I wanted the principles for which you stood, and I wanted to feel them just as strongly as you did. I wanted to know the truth, and have the conviction of spirit to stand by that truth just like you, even when the truth wasn't popular. In essence, I wanted to grow up and be just like the best parts of you. In so many ways, I think I succeeded in doing that. I think my brothers did, too. And we have passed that on to our children, and your grandchildren. Dad, I always liked the fact that you weren't a man of many words. I still don't like "chatty" men who talk all the time! I like the fact that the words you did speak mattered, and counted for something. And I liked the fact that you took me on a fishing trip. That father-daughter trip is still one of the best memories of my life. And yet, we hardly spoke a word. We didn't have to. We just looked at eachother and said, "Yep, it's time to go fishin'." And we were off and on our way. Mom stayed home because she didn't want to get eaten up by mosquitos. But you and I didn't care. We were adventurers, you and me. I gotta confess, dad, that impromptu fishing trip was the absolute coolest thing for a little daddy's girl like me. By the way, just thought you might like to know, I still like to fish! But you know that, too, don't you? I could go on and on, dad. But alas, I don't have all eternity like you do today! I'm still down here on planet earth just trying to "get stuff done" within the confines of this thing called time. No worries, someday we'll take up where we left off. But for now, there's one more thing I want you to know. Of all the things I remember about you, one of the things that I remember most was your constant protection of me. Yes, I know I fussed and squirmed under that protection at times, but deep down, I understood it. And I knew that it came from a place of love - a place of love so deep that it would have laid down it's own life in order to save mine. Finally, dad, on this Father's Day, I just want to thank you for being the dad you were to me. No, you were not a perfect dad, but you were absolutely the perfect dad for me. And who could have known that you would be so perfect for me, other than God, Himself? Which brings me to one more thing I wanted you to know. I don't ever remember being a "brave kind of kid" when I was growing up. In fact, I often felt insecure and afraid. But I always felt brave when I was with you. I knew that no matter what happened in my world, you would always love me and protect me. And you did. I'm sorry you're not here now for me to tell you this in person, but I just wanted to thank you in my own special way for the inheritance you left me - the inheritance of not just love, but of a father's protective love. Because you showed me protective love, that silly little knock-knee'd girl you once knew is now a grown woman who is strong in the Lord. Strong in my faith. Strong in my convictions. And I'm strong in the knowledge that God also loves me and protects me, and was willing to give His only begotten son in order to save my life. What else can I say, dad? God's love and His protection reminds me so much of you. Until we meet again, Happy Father's Day! Your Daughter, Susan
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