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Kim, Susan and Montana
This month, instead of my usual horse
newsletter, I thought I'd share a little of my
personal love story with you. The human kind,
not the horse kind! Kim and I are celebrating
our 32'nd wedding anniversary. I'm nearly 8
years older than my husband. That caused
quite a scandal back when we first met.
Now I tease my hubby that he's not only
caught up with me, but surpassed me. Check
out that white beard. His, not mine! When I'm
not calling him by his Indian name that I gave
him, Chief Full O' Bull, I like to call him
Old Wise One. I figure one name keeps him humble and grounded, while the other
keeps him smiling (and buying me horse stuff)!
THE WAY WE WERE
Kim and me in the summer of 1979.
This was a picture taken of me and Kim in the summer of 1979 (yep, 34 years ago).
We had just met. We were young and in love,
and had just started our life of ministry
together working at the local church
level in Atlanta, Georgia with youth ministry.
Two years later, we were married.
"There are three things that amaze me - no, four things that I don't understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a road,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman."
(Proverbs 30: 18 - 19 (NLT)
This Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Kim and I on our wedding day.
What is it about this crazy little thing called love? How does it find us? How does it happen? The first time I looked in my husband's eyes, I had no idea how much it would change my life forever.
Kim and I were married in the church where we
first met. It was the happiest day of my life
because I was marrying my best friend. My dress was simple and handmade (by my mother) with imported lace and pearl beads. I wore a wreath of flowers in my hair, and carried a matching wreath of flowers. I was at once, a bit starry-eyed, a bit flower-child. I was crazy in love. And Kim, well, he was forgetful. Still is. Although quite debonair and handsome in his black tux, he managed to forget his socks! How does a man forget his socks on his wedding day? Throughout the ceremony, I had to fight giggles and thoughts of him standing there taking his vows, sockless. Who knows, he could have forgotten his underwear, too! Hopefully, only we knew.
Always a bit untraditional, we chose the song,
"I Only Have Eyes For You"
by Art Garfunkel for our wedding song. People told us it wasn't religious enough. We didn't care. We we'ren't going for religious. We were going for love. Today, we both still cry every time we hear our song on the radio. "Those are still happy tears, aren't they?" I always ask. "Just checking!"
For Better Or For Worse
Our first decade together as husband and
wife brought me some of the greatest joy I had
ever experienced in life. We worked side by side at a local church teaching youth ministry, and it seemed life couldn't be better. But soon, things changed, and I found myself experiencing some of the deepest sorrow I had ever known. Little did we know that our love would be tested through some of life's deepest trials very early on. It was during those times that I often thought about the portion of our vows where we had promised, "for better or for worse", and I wondered if our love would survive, afterall.
Those Early Trials
As young ministers, we quickly became accustomed to dealing with crisis situations, funerals, and heartbreaks of every sort in other people's lives. But we had very little personal experience with trials of our own. Then suddenly, as if a switch had been turned on, the trials and storms in our own life began to mount up, one right after the other.
The trials began soon after we were married.
Kim's mother was suddenly and surprisingly diagnosed with terminal cancer. Then, at the same time, my mother was diagnosed with severe
heart disease. She was given less than a year
to live. Finally, there was a ray of hope in our lives. After several years of trying to conceive, I became pregnant. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, another heartbreak. Nearly six months after finding out I was pregnant, our baby boy was born prematurely, and still-born due to serious medical problems including hydrocephaly.
No doubt, our marriage was being rocked, and our faith and hope was being tested time and again. But soon, we began to realize that we were not alone. There was a third partner in our marriage, and it was God. When we were weak and ready to give up, His love was the third strand (or life rope) that strengthened and held us together. And it was His love that carried us through.
Every Trial You Face
Can Produce A
Life-Changing Miracle
Through the tough times, Kim and I began to
notice that every trial ultimately produced a
miracle. My mother in law not only survived
cancer, but remains cancer free to this day.
And my mother, who was given less than
a year to live, went on to live another 13 years.
She died peacefully in my arms many years
later at our home in Tennessee. Mom was 81 years old when she went to be with the Lord.
She was, and will always be my greatest
role model in this life. And finally, even in his
death, our baby boy whom we named John Paul, became the greatest miracle of all. It was
our baby that taught us the real value of
human life.
"For I do not value life by it's days, months, or years. But I value life by its place in me. John Paul is with me today in heaven where he is perfect, complete, and entire, wanting nothing. And you will see him again."
Somehow, someway, God spoke a healing Word into mine and Kim's heart just moments after I had delivered our still-born baby boy. The miracle is not only in His speaking to us, but that He spoke to us simultaneously, at the exact same moment in time. I had been sitting up in the hospital bed, just having delivered our baby. I was weeping, and I was strangely distant, unconsolable. Kim sat quietly in a chair next to me, staring off in space. There was nothing left to say. We were together, and yet, alone in our grief. And then, suddenly, we looked at one another. We had both heard it. It had been a voice. Not an impression, or a thought, but a real voice. And the one speaking was undeniable.
"Did God just speak to you?"
I asked my husband with a strange calm.
"Yes," he answered. "Did he speak to you?"
"Yes. He spoke to me, too" I replied.
And then, as I cradled my baby boy, Kim and I
sat there looking at one another in amazement over what had just taken place.
An indescribable peace engulfed us, - a peace that surpassed all of our understanding. We knew we would see our baby again. And we knew something else.
Only moments earlier, we had been two
broken-hearted people, grieving in our own
way. Together, and yet, alone. But God had somehow spoken to us as if we were one person, and not two. One heart. Not two separate people. How could that be? It was greater than our faith. It was much more than our hope. It was love - God's love. And that love saw us as One.
Love And Only Love
Well, friends, it's time to close this newsletter and get dressed to go celebrate another anniversary. And you can betcha, I'll be sure to call my hubby Old Wise One more than a few times tonight. Little does he know I'm about to hit him up for a new bridle and set of matching reins for my horse. As for him, well, I plan on giving Mr. Forgetful a pair of socks! Ahhhhh, this crazy little thing called love. After all these years, the good times and the bad, the faith, the hope, the mountain-top experiences, and the trials, - I think I'm finally beginning to figure it out. It's all about what remains. Love and only love.
" And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
(1 Corinthians 13: 13)
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