Mental Illness: Understanding Its Effects On Family/Caregivers



Understanding Denial 

When mental illness first strikes, family members may deny the person has a continuing illness. During an acute episode, family members are often alarmed by what is happening to their loved one. When the episode is over and the family member returns home, everyone may feel a tremendous sense of relief. All involved want to put the painful time in the past and focus on the future. Many times, particularly when the illness is a new phenomenon in the family, everyone may believe that since the person is now doing very well - that symptomatic behavior will never return. They may also look for other answers, hoping that the symptoms were caused by some other physical problem or external stressors that can be removed. For example, some families move thinking that a "fresh start" in a new environment will alleviate the problem. 

 

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Understanding Stigma

 
Even when all members of the family have the knowledge to deal with mental illness, the family is often reluctant to discuss their family member with others because they do not know how people will react. After all, myths and misconception surround mental illness. For many, even their closest friends may not understand. For example, the sister of a young man with schizophrenia pointed out that when a friend's brother had cancer, all his friends were supportive and understanding. But, when she told a few, close friends that her brother has paranoid schizophrenia, they said little and implied that something must be very wrong in her family to cause the illness. 
 

Understanding Frustration, Helplessness and Anxiety

 

It is difficult for anyone to deal with strange thinking and bizarre and unpredictable behavior. Imagine what it must be for families of people with mental illness. It is often bewildering, frightening and exhausting. Even when the person is stabilized on medication, the apathy and lack of motivation can be frustrating. A mother mentions how her daughter, when asked to put her clothes in the closet, looked at the freshly pressed blouses for over an hour before making a move to hang them up. What was a matter of routine for this young woman in the past, now seemed to take an inordinate amount of time. Even though the parent knew it was not so, she had to fight the feeling that her daughter was deliberately not doing this one, small task. 

 

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Understanding Exhaustion and Burnout

 

 

Often families become worn out and discouraged dealing with a loved one who has a mental illness. Having gone down many dead-end streets in an attempt to find assistance, they may be hesitant to try another approach for fear of another failure. They may begin to feel unable to cope with living with a person who must be constantly cared for. Hopefully they can develop a plan to allow each family member to take responsibility for different tasks and/or to trade off times of primary responsibility. But often, they feel trapped and exhausted by the stress of the daily struggle, especially if there is only one family member.

 

 

 

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Understanding Grief

 

One of the greatest difficulties for families in accepting any life altering illness of a loved one is dealing with a changed future and expectations. The grief is particularly acute for families where a loved one has a mental illness. This illness often impairs the person's ability to function and participate in the normal activities of daily life, and that impairment can be ongoing. Families struggle with accepting the realities of an illness that is treatable, but not curable. 

 

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Facilitating a Referral

 

Getting the family to a helping professional or organization is of little value if they arrive too angry, confused or defensive to be able to listen or be helped. Family members who accept the referral out of compliance, or simply to please other family members or friends, may still be closed to any assistance. Community Friendship, Inc. (CFI )fosters an open and trusting relationship. Family members are encouraged to share their feelings about the proposed referral. Objections and any feelings of rejections can then be identified and addressed.

 

The goal of the referral is not to force an unwilling person(s) to spend a few minutes with someone who has expertise. The goal is to help the person(s) visit an additional source of information and resources with openness and hopefulness.  

 

How Community Friendship, Inc.'s Resources Can Assist A Family

 

CFI helps families as they work through their feelings of loss, confusion, and concerns about caring for their family member. We provide information about:

  • the illness, symptoms, prospects for recovery and suggestions on helping to manage symptomatic behavior
  • medication side effects and how they interact with other medications
  • written materials, references, sharing, expertise in problem solving, communication and resources
  • educational opportunities, such as relapse prevention training and workshops 
Contact Community Friendship, Inc. about supportive services for families and caregivers. Please call 404 875-0381. Get involved and stay connected with Community Friendship at www.communityfriendship.org.